"ANY AND ALL RELATIONSHIPS can be abusive."

So this. Seconded so hard.

"consensual healthy fun kinky stuff"

I will admit that, being of a generation/background that equated sexual pleasure with sin (while equating sexual "duty" i.e. reproduction as the only acceptable/mandatory sexual activity) .,. and kink, because it wasn't expressly supporting that duty and was about pleasure, was therefore triple ultra mega naughty/sinful/bad/diabolic ....

I found the kink_bingo comm and its wiki a revelation. The concepts there, ranging from the idea of playful and sweet kink, of RACK, of asexual kink ... it's a liberation in many senses.