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WoW Blogtopic Yoink: If my OCs got to be NPCs!
Got the idea from 'eere as I was randomly reading; it made me go *SPROINK* on account of because storyhounding dorkery is what I do.
SO I DID!
Of course, if I had enough clout to get one or more of my roadshow of doofii into the game it'd be a much different game, so I'm going to completely power-skank all over the place here too and break the gameplot harr harrr and shift everything and make weird crack possible! (A bunch of this is inspired by my girlfriend's fabulous AU work. She is awesome.)
This silliness will assume:
(a) Kael wasn't evil, nor was Illidan; other stuff was going on, and the ranting dude in MT was some jerk who isn't Kael. But everything is still KJ's fault.
(b) Allies and Hordies, while at odds and NOT LIKING EACH OTHER, aren't rock-gnawingly stupid. So they're not fighting on fronts where they should be focusing on a common enemy ('Nilla Silithus and EPL, Icecrown, and so on). Sure, they fight, but it's not...suicidal. Therefore, you don't get the airship gunfights in Icecrown. You DO, however, get fly-by festivals of /rude emotes, insults yelled back and forth, thrown fruit, polymorphs, flash-bangs in cannons, snowballs and other assorted crap. Just because Varian and Garrosh (who are less stupid here) called a moratorium on dumbassed piss fights if only to cockblock Arthas doesn't mean the animosity's totally gone...it's just not being expressed in a manner that's basically HEY ARTHAS COME KICK OUR ASSES ;p
(c) Azjol-Nerub is in the game.
(d) The sludgy field does not exist; in its stead, there's a goblin-and-Forsaken research nerdherd doing SCIENCE!!111! in Durnholde's ruins. Stillwater is still a nad, but he's on the outs with the main group. They've started eyeing him with suspicion when the quest chain starts.
(e) Sylvanas isn't an evil jerk because that's stupid. There's someone running around that LOOKS like her who is an evil jerk; 'Lindsey Ravensun' is Sylvanas trying to figure out who the hell this is, and also keep an eye out for ninja Lilian.
(f) The Forsaken are not evil jerks either. They've gone science-happy rather than plague-happy.
Okay now on with the geekery--
ISHANDARR EVENBROOKE: (Blood Elf, DK) Ebon Blade knight with a luck stat of minus thirty zillion and a tendency to make bad puns! He would be one of those questgivers you have to find. It wouldn't be difficult, as such, but it'd be a bit challenging. One could get the quest to go look for him from Thassarian or Koltira (if your rep was up enough with the Ebon Blade you could get it from either of them; before that point, the knight of the other faction would be neutral and would give you a little gossip text but not much else); though the quest text would be radically different between them, the basic gist is the same: "We sent one of our people as an emissary to Azjol-Nerub, but he hasn't come back. He has no luck whatsoever, so regardless of how polite he was he probably got absconded with by big prim spiders. We can't really leave our posts here, so can you go find him?"
So, off y'all go to Azjol-Nerub, where Ishan's ended up in a similar state to the Argents at the gate breach. After he's let out (and flails around a bit), he becomes an escort NPC much like Tarenar (only less silly--well, mostly less silly, he doesn't stand in bad but he makes terrible puns every so often). You get to explore Azjol-Nerub, kasplat Scourge things, and the end result would be--fanfare!--Anub'Arak becoming a quest NPC you can go to as well! After you finish Anub' Arak's quest chain you could get Azjol-Nerub zone dailies from Ishan and Anub'Arak both.
I know he'd show up again in Cata somewhere. I just can't think of where. Maybe he and Aer can be dumb in the Twihard Highlands. XD
AERIONN DAWNTREADER: (Blood Elf, paladin) Blood Knight liaison to the Argent Crusade. Hyper. Ridonkulous. XD He's a Journeyman holydin who wants you to help him with the upkeep at the Argent Ren faire. His counterpart is--
EVEYNNA MacTEAGUE: (Human, paladin) New Silver Hand liaison to the Argent Crusade. Evey is a journeyman protadin. She and Aer wander around together (they wouldn't be terribly hard to find, ever) carrying various things and tell groaningly bad jokes back and forth. Think Asric and Jadaar, only amiable. And sometimes caffeinated.
Once again, when you repped up enough with the Argent Crusade, you could get quests from the other faction's NPC. These would be a bit harder--things the pally duo can't do themselves--but they'd give a decent amount of gold and XP and rep.
Evey and Aer would also be lorehounds' dreams. Talking to them at different times would get a different bit of lore, and getting all the stories from them both would be an achieve. For example, Aer would tell Allyside the story of the B'elves and the challenges they faced and clear Kael's name once and for all; Evey would talk to Hordies about 'Katrana' and her legacy, the unrest in the Alliance and what's being done about it, and so on. You'd get little insights into Garrosh and Varian's characters from them too--often coupled by an exclamation from the other party about how they're basically the same dork XD (They are, dammit XD)
Both of them would return in Cata; Aer in Ghostlands and Evey in Westfall, and they'd give quests to help rebuild both places. BONUS: Aer and his mentor are adorable, and Evey has a crush on Hope/Vanessa. These are not played cheesily but it is apparent that both crushes exist.
MIRIELLIE SUNVEIL: (Forsaken, priest) Forsaken light hippie! You'd first see her in Burning Crusade, as a Ghostlands questgiver. You'd be gathering plant bits for her so she could make a curative potion. She'd come back in Wrath to give tailoring and herbalism dailies in Icecrown (bandages and potions!), and return as a questgiver in Cata--first seen chatting with the Val'kyr, who are quite confused about being treated as people and not weapons. She is present for the Great Southshore Whodunnit questline (guest starring Horatio Laine and Nathanos Blightcaller, snark snark snark) that leads up to the Andorhal Megafail (SPOILERS evil!Sylvanas is a grudge-wankin' Dreadlord cosplaying), and will buff Horde players who are doing the Thassarian-and-Sylvanas-escorted run to get Koltira back.
CHIYANA SHADEWIND: (Orc, hunter) She'd start out as a BC questgiver. You'd find her (and her big giant dork of a wolf) first in Nagrand (where she'd give a bunch of profession dailies), and then in Shadowmoon Valley where you'd find out that she was PART OF THAT CLAN aw crap and participated in one of the big invasions. She'd have you gather things for a ceremony to try to put the ghosts to rest, find out about Teron, and flip out. XD She'd come back in Wrath, griefing Agmar in Dragonblight for being a little nad and then griefing Korm for the same thing later in Icecrown proper (no war crime crap for you, son). She'd make a return in Cata, keeping Garrosh in line. XP You'd get to meet her family (son, daughter and sister) in Razor Hill, too.
And you could get any of these doofuses as Firelands escorts. XD
There are more of 'em but these are my primary flock of dorks XD I may write more like this later if I feel up to it.
SO I DID!
Of course, if I had enough clout to get one or more of my roadshow of doofii into the game it'd be a much different game, so I'm going to completely power-skank all over the place here too and break the gameplot harr harrr and shift everything and make weird crack possible! (A bunch of this is inspired by my girlfriend's fabulous AU work. She is awesome.)
This silliness will assume:
(a) Kael wasn't evil, nor was Illidan; other stuff was going on, and the ranting dude in MT was some jerk who isn't Kael. But everything is still KJ's fault.
(b) Allies and Hordies, while at odds and NOT LIKING EACH OTHER, aren't rock-gnawingly stupid. So they're not fighting on fronts where they should be focusing on a common enemy ('Nilla Silithus and EPL, Icecrown, and so on). Sure, they fight, but it's not...suicidal. Therefore, you don't get the airship gunfights in Icecrown. You DO, however, get fly-by festivals of /rude emotes, insults yelled back and forth, thrown fruit, polymorphs, flash-bangs in cannons, snowballs and other assorted crap. Just because Varian and Garrosh (who are less stupid here) called a moratorium on dumbassed piss fights if only to cockblock Arthas doesn't mean the animosity's totally gone...it's just not being expressed in a manner that's basically HEY ARTHAS COME KICK OUR ASSES ;p
(c) Azjol-Nerub is in the game.
(d) The sludgy field does not exist; in its stead, there's a goblin-and-Forsaken research nerdherd doing SCIENCE!!111! in Durnholde's ruins. Stillwater is still a nad, but he's on the outs with the main group. They've started eyeing him with suspicion when the quest chain starts.
(e) Sylvanas isn't an evil jerk because that's stupid. There's someone running around that LOOKS like her who is an evil jerk; 'Lindsey Ravensun' is Sylvanas trying to figure out who the hell this is, and also keep an eye out for ninja Lilian.
(f) The Forsaken are not evil jerks either. They've gone science-happy rather than plague-happy.
Okay now on with the geekery--
ISHANDARR EVENBROOKE: (Blood Elf, DK) Ebon Blade knight with a luck stat of minus thirty zillion and a tendency to make bad puns! He would be one of those questgivers you have to find. It wouldn't be difficult, as such, but it'd be a bit challenging. One could get the quest to go look for him from Thassarian or Koltira (if your rep was up enough with the Ebon Blade you could get it from either of them; before that point, the knight of the other faction would be neutral and would give you a little gossip text but not much else); though the quest text would be radically different between them, the basic gist is the same: "We sent one of our people as an emissary to Azjol-Nerub, but he hasn't come back. He has no luck whatsoever, so regardless of how polite he was he probably got absconded with by big prim spiders. We can't really leave our posts here, so can you go find him?"
So, off y'all go to Azjol-Nerub, where Ishan's ended up in a similar state to the Argents at the gate breach. After he's let out (and flails around a bit), he becomes an escort NPC much like Tarenar (only less silly--well, mostly less silly, he doesn't stand in bad but he makes terrible puns every so often). You get to explore Azjol-Nerub, kasplat Scourge things, and the end result would be--fanfare!--Anub'Arak becoming a quest NPC you can go to as well! After you finish Anub' Arak's quest chain you could get Azjol-Nerub zone dailies from Ishan and Anub'Arak both.
I know he'd show up again in Cata somewhere. I just can't think of where. Maybe he and Aer can be dumb in the Twihard Highlands. XD
AERIONN DAWNTREADER: (Blood Elf, paladin) Blood Knight liaison to the Argent Crusade. Hyper. Ridonkulous. XD He's a Journeyman holydin who wants you to help him with the upkeep at the Argent Ren faire. His counterpart is--
EVEYNNA MacTEAGUE: (Human, paladin) New Silver Hand liaison to the Argent Crusade. Evey is a journeyman protadin. She and Aer wander around together (they wouldn't be terribly hard to find, ever) carrying various things and tell groaningly bad jokes back and forth. Think Asric and Jadaar, only amiable. And sometimes caffeinated.
Once again, when you repped up enough with the Argent Crusade, you could get quests from the other faction's NPC. These would be a bit harder--things the pally duo can't do themselves--but they'd give a decent amount of gold and XP and rep.
Evey and Aer would also be lorehounds' dreams. Talking to them at different times would get a different bit of lore, and getting all the stories from them both would be an achieve. For example, Aer would tell Allyside the story of the B'elves and the challenges they faced and clear Kael's name once and for all; Evey would talk to Hordies about 'Katrana' and her legacy, the unrest in the Alliance and what's being done about it, and so on. You'd get little insights into Garrosh and Varian's characters from them too--often coupled by an exclamation from the other party about how they're basically the same dork XD (They are, dammit XD)
Both of them would return in Cata; Aer in Ghostlands and Evey in Westfall, and they'd give quests to help rebuild both places. BONUS: Aer and his mentor are adorable, and Evey has a crush on Hope/Vanessa. These are not played cheesily but it is apparent that both crushes exist.
MIRIELLIE SUNVEIL: (Forsaken, priest) Forsaken light hippie! You'd first see her in Burning Crusade, as a Ghostlands questgiver. You'd be gathering plant bits for her so she could make a curative potion. She'd come back in Wrath to give tailoring and herbalism dailies in Icecrown (bandages and potions!), and return as a questgiver in Cata--first seen chatting with the Val'kyr, who are quite confused about being treated as people and not weapons. She is present for the Great Southshore Whodunnit questline (guest starring Horatio Laine and Nathanos Blightcaller, snark snark snark) that leads up to the Andorhal Megafail (SPOILERS evil!Sylvanas is a grudge-wankin' Dreadlord cosplaying), and will buff Horde players who are doing the Thassarian-and-Sylvanas-escorted run to get Koltira back.
CHIYANA SHADEWIND: (Orc, hunter) She'd start out as a BC questgiver. You'd find her (and her big giant dork of a wolf) first in Nagrand (where she'd give a bunch of profession dailies), and then in Shadowmoon Valley where you'd find out that she was PART OF THAT CLAN aw crap and participated in one of the big invasions. She'd have you gather things for a ceremony to try to put the ghosts to rest, find out about Teron, and flip out. XD She'd come back in Wrath, griefing Agmar in Dragonblight for being a little nad and then griefing Korm for the same thing later in Icecrown proper (no war crime crap for you, son). She'd make a return in Cata, keeping Garrosh in line. XP You'd get to meet her family (son, daughter and sister) in Razor Hill, too.
And you could get any of these doofuses as Firelands escorts. XD
There are more of 'em but these are my primary flock of dorks XD I may write more like this later if I feel up to it.