Scaramouche, Scaramouche

BEACHY

Inspired by: Playing through the Pandaria arrival on my pally, and muttering "...It would have been so much cooler and scarier if the landing went like THIS--"
Warnings: My usual peeing on Canon's rug. Semi-spoilers for the landing on Pandaria except not. AU-of-an-AU!

I want to expand on this later hence no formal title block. :B

***

There was sand up Garrosh Hellscream's nose and sand in his boots and sand in his teeth and sand was trying to get into his eyes but he wasn't going to let it because it was everywhere else. So the sand could just deal with it.

...Was he really thinking that sand could act out of malice and plot against him? Seriously?

Damn, but his head hurt.

( ... )

So if you've played through or read up on the revamped Scarlet Monastery and Scholomance dungeon quests, you'll know that Lilian has something to do with both. The events of the Scholo one made me blink a lot.

I'll spoiler-cut just in case, and also declare that I do not take this as part of my own AU brain-canon. AU Lilian has joined the Forsaken (who are not generically evil FFS) and is sort of unofficially apprenticed to Nathanos and Koltira, who consider her one of the precious few sensible people they've met.

Anyhow. Spoiler cut now!

( Ellipsis goes here! )

This came out of (a) me contemplating how different tea cultures of Azeroth would have developed (i'm going to write about that too eventually) and (b) someone asking me if the tiling patterns/geometric screeny things in Dalaran looked Ottoman to me too.

My answer: yes it does--and incidentally, this is one reason why the High Elves and Blood Elves are not universally as pallid as--well--ME when I'm drawing or writing them. (Again, the credit for my getting into thinking of this at ALL goes to my amazing girlfriend and her patience and insight and badassitude XD)

Seriously, none of their architecture is fully European in origin. Silvermoon City is not ttly zomg Euro-looking in the least, and neither is Dalaran.

(Hold on tight, guys--I'm about to hardcore art nerd all over the place.)

The primary influences seem to be Byzantine and Mughal architecture (and the somewhat-wacky Victorian British take on these), as well as the Art Nouveau movement which was itself inspired in part by Japanese and Mughal and Arabic architecture and art.

( yukie: getting nerd all over journals since 2001~ )

Anyway. All this is what informs a lot of my depiction of Blood Elven and High Elven culture. It's also why not all of my Blood Elven or High Elven OCs are especially pallid. XD Kristios and Kleidion are the palest, about the same hue as me; Ishandarr is medium-olive-complected with freckles, Aerionn, Serhan and Isythalar are medium brown, and Lytaea is a darker copper. And Mireillie is bluish, but she's kind of also undead circa the Zerging of Lordaeron so there's that XD

SO

YEAH

there is my rationale, nerding, jargon, and DAFUQ WAS DAT XD

So who plays what?

Aaron Park: Theremin, Banjo
Zoe Daine: Drums
Sidonie Dumont: Guitar
Asher Singh: Piano
Victoria Greene: Bass
Jeremiah Greene: Violin


Ishandarr Evenbrooke: Thalassian flute
Aerionn Dawntreader: Mandolin
Eveynna MacTeague: Citole, penny whistle
Garrett Mason: Fiddle
Solseannan Thundermar: Accordion
Jayalaksmi tar'nai-Vasu: Sarod
Kleidion Fireflight: Viola
Kristios Fireflight: Cello
Sarradaine Helianthe: Harp
Valerriana Helianthe: Recorder
Atharri Swiftmorrow: Piano
Sharl Rhydderch: Harmonica
Chiyana Shadehand: Reed pipe
Rakkarah Duskwolf: Garadar Talking Drum
Kikkijikki Ghostwalker: Tumbadora
Dakkarayi Ghostwalker: Steel drums
Ferayyah Voidsinger: Moon harp
Bejaria Moonfell: Reed pipe
Iynadora Gyreleaf: Reed pipe
Kazyanagi Moonblade: Biwa
Mireillie Sunveil: Pipe Organ
Berenikki Fleezelbop: Bass guitar

So I love the Tillers.

And the Klaxxi and the Order of the Cloud Serpent but right now I'm going to be all smug about my giant digital pumpkins (wow that sounds like a surreal innuendo). And kvetch about grindiness, because it IS grindy, even though it's mostly fun.

Mostly!

I find myself caring a lot more about the Tillers and the other people around Halfhill than I do about the overarching "important" plot. (Ditto the Klaxxi. I couldn't give one-sixth of a fart about Garrosh and Varian being colonialist dickweeds (which they won't be in the AU when I start writing...my versions of those two are decidedly different from canon because canon's boring and trite and I'd rather challenge myself) and no Blizzard "benevolent/non-aggressive" colonialism is not better but that's a rant for another time...I must say, though, the WC2 nostalgia trip in Krasarang has some rather pointed edges! Colour me mildly impressed.) Why? Well--because I've gotten to know them.

This is what I don't get. They're completely Ozzie's-boxers-on-my-head senselessly dense about legacy characters, they slack off on characterization or turn on dimes when it comes to newer ones, and...then there's this bunch of farmers. Who I love.

No, their characterization isn't especially überdeep, but they feel like people, and you do discover more little bits and pieces about everyone as you go along. Gina's comments when you ask where everyone lives, for example--she doesn't get along with her dad, she's compassionate (worrying about Ella being lonely, feeling bad for Chee-Chee because he's having bad luck getting started out, and so on), and she's a damn badass businesswoman. As you get closer to these people they open up to you more. You learn about their aspirations, you sympathise with them and you--well--still don't like the grind but for me it feels more like a favour for a friend than arbitrary questing even though it's the latter lol.

Ffff basically I just want to hang around on the farm all the time. XD Ishandarr's pretty domestic anyway and he has a very green thumb for a Death Knight. (Though, my gods, the number of times he's had to wrassle with the fronds of wild veggies...)

Of course, I can't just hang out on the farm all the time because the stupid Mogu will want to come step on it if I don't punch them in the asses and discourage them from stepping on it...and speaking of them.

Blizzard?

You cannot set up a severely-xenophobic bunch of might-makes-right domineering fascist bullyboy douches with a superiority complex the size of Kij'jaeden's fiery ass--a bunch of literally stone-faced wankers who see the world as them on top and everybody else as scrubs underfoot--and then expect me to believe they'd ally with anyone that isn't them. ESPECIALLY in the case of the ones you've decided were their allies in the past. I'm not even going to touch the bullshit face-heel turn you pulled with regard to the quote-unquote allies either. Suffice it to say that bullshit's not going in the AU, because it also makes no sense.

AAAANYWAAAAY!

I really love the Tillers, and I love my little garden. I love the completely-hammered SI:7 ops who sometimes show up in Halfhill, one of whom challenges me to a dance-off in the name of justice. I love the troll who wonders where the huge meat to go with the huge veggies is, and the jinyu Aqualytes. Halfhill is one of my favourite places. It feels like a home, honestly, and that's more and more the case as time goes on. (Hilariously, it's very similar to Ishandarr's childhood hangouts near his grandfather's house, back when Goldenmist Village was intact...Acamarr was an epic green thumb too...)

I'm enjoying other things too--the Klaxxi and their lore (and their nice gender ambiguity...I'm choosing to read the bigger ones as female because that's how mantid insects work IRL), the Order of the Cloud Serpent, the fact that one of the Golden Lotus ops is mute (and possibly deaf?) and nobody looks down on him at all--he kicks just as much ass as the rest of them and they respect him. That made me really happy, considering Blizzard's prior cack-handedness with issues related to disability (i.e. the Forsaken and the Blood Elves). I suspect they'll continue to be cack-handed sometimes depending on who handles what. Such is life when it comes to a game with a fucktillion writers XD

I have but one kvetch about the Tillers stuff aside the grindiness of it all: it makes me really damn hungry. XD

Some people deal with bad soil.

Some people deal with opportunistic wildlife.

Some people deal with gigantic weeds from the lowermost depths of the Twisting Nether.

Some people deal with pudgy caterpillars everywhere.

And me? The magnet of everything with fronds, tentacles, and other assorted noodly appendages?

Somehow…

…I manage to have my garden sprout one. ( voila )

Which then starts cheerfully waving at me.

-Ishandarr Evenbrooke (who just wanted some carrots for stir-fry and was not expecting this malarkey)

P.S. Stay away from my ankles, frondblossom. You are NOT waving me around like a tourney banner like everything else of your ilk does. ;p the only fronds allowed near me are the ones my girlfriend summons i mean what

Also, I had to arm-wrestle with this to get rid of it. What the hells, nature!?

And another image of the frondblossom.

So the stupidness what is canon right now has inspired me to actually try to explain this guy, as by now they're so radically different as to make people wonder what I'm on probably! WHEE!

Oh well. I have fun writing him and he actually makes sense. (Also, he has not shaved his head and tattooed his lower jaw. And his head is not too small for his body. And he doesn't wear the stupid HORNS OMFG what is that even. He does however have a big ass Warsong Clan mark tat on his back now.)

Anyway, I'mma start off here by discussing his Many Issues because they govern a lot of his life for along time (he gets better) and they're what cause the most problems for him. They fall into three rough categories:

1) issues dealing with himself
2) issues dealing with culture
3) issues about his dad

So I'mma go through all of these. This, again, is AU!Garrosh, so if something seems WTFz0rs it's probably not canon. Mwah hah. Also, I am NOT making excuses for the stupid things he does (which are not the same stupid things as canon, but are still stupid). I'm trying to explain why he thought he should do 'em. XD

( this is an LJ cut that isn't wearing pitlord horns )

SO they changed scholomance in WoW, and I'm all torn feelings-wise.

( SPOILARZ for new Scholo content! Also terrible grammar and run-on sentences! )

TITLE: HELLSCREAM'S LAMENT 1: Bloodthirsty Dustwallow Marsh
FANDOM: WoW
PEOPLE: Garrosh, and the advisors he's being sarcastic at.
PAIRING: None, really.
RATING: PG-ish.
WARNINGS: AU sorta-sarcasmo-Garrosh whose voice is kind of different from canon, because when I tried to suss out his voice from quests and stuff, THIS NONSENSE was the result... He also has some common sense. Mostly because Saurfang scared it into him.
NOTES: First-person semi-monologue orc shenanigans.

Presenting: Yukie's version of Garrosh, ranting about why he's never going to try for Theramore because Dustwallow Marsh wants to destroy his face like a Castlevania Bird.

There will probably be a series of these because I find this inexplicably hilarious and letting Garrosh kvetch about things is fun.

Takes place in a continuity based upon the AU what my girlfriend started. XD

Minor SPOILARS for the circumstances of the Theramore business in MoP.

( the hellscream kid is quite loud )

So I'm CERTAIN I'm not the only ne who got the feeling Orbaz Bloodbane has it for Thassarian (and can you blame him) and is jealous as balls of Koltira...

He may or may not also have a Thing about elf guys and be deeply wedged in the closet because wweh annoying human-booster even in death wweh.

(That's how he keeps acting when I write him anyway. Even when I'm not trying to do that.)

Either way he is a twank.