Scaramouche, Scaramouche

WELL WOW that little session of listening to Halsey's "Castle" sure did turn into a crackmobile headcanonical backstory extravaganza for kupop-o-verse Saga Frontier dramatis personae.

( honkity honk honk! )

For mullenkamp, who asked for stuff about Eirlys. lol 200 words again. XD;

Out in the garden, the moonlight made the night-blooming flowers luminous. Amidst the shadows of leaves, fireflies drifted, emerald-green. At the centre of the circle, robed in blue and guarded by the light of four candles, the Priestess stood.

Outside the circle, an enormous raven sat on the grass.

"I wasn't expecting you," Eirlys said, "but you're welcome all the same. I trust you know how to behave yourself; I know all your dramatics are exactly that."

The raven stared at Eirlys as if she'd grown antlers.

Eirlys crouched and arched a brow. "What are you giving me that look for? You know me, and you know my people. You know what we gave to you. I've been telling you this for several nights now. My invitation still stands."

Very deliberately, the raven stepped into the circle. He eyed Eirlys a moment more, then spread his wings, flapped, lifted off. In a flurry of shed feathers he settled on her shoulder.

"Very Edgar Allen Poe of you," Eirlys said after a pause. "I assume those are for me?"

of course. it's the least i can give.

"You still sound laryngitic, Host-of-Many. It's rather a good thing I always make enough tea to offer all three of you..."

Oh hi. Welcome to episode one of Creepy Tricks What One Can Pull Off With The Dark If One Has Enough Clout With It'. I'm your host, Jan Rosencrantz, a.k.a. the artist formerly known as 'that one guy bisected by Kali-Ma'. It'd probably make more sense to get a guy who can actually DO these things to explain 'em but the naïb thinks I'm the best guy for the job, so I'm giving it a whirl. Why the hell not?

Right. So. Assuming people know what the Dark is; for those unclear I can give a more detailed description in comments. To sum up, it's one of five primal elements that make up the framework of things in general. Its complement is Light. THE DARK IS NOT EVIL. Can we clear that up, now? By extensions USERS OF THE DARK ARE NOT EVIL BY DEFAULT. Can people be idiots with it, yes they can, but painting Prince Ansem as evil on account of because he is Dark is vaaaaaastly stupid. He did idiotic things in the NAME of the Dark; the Dark did not make him do these things. THE DARK ITSELF AS AN ELEMENT DOES NOT CONTROL PEOPLE FROM WITHIN. It can be used as a means of control, but the Dark itself is not possessed of a malevolent will and nor is its Lady. I'd also like to clear up that PEOPLE WHOM THE DARK IS USED SUCCESSFULLY AGAINST ARE NOT DUPES, FOOLS OR WEAKLINGS. Perpetuate that line of crap and I'll defenestrate you for your ig'nance and for vexin' me.

Let me explain. Recollect Losstarot making me think I was waving his arm around? Right. Now consider my personality. Do I look weak-willed or wishy-washy to you? Come on, now, I make mules look like wafflers. I had one whole hell of a damaged heart, BUT I was able to ward it using the Dark myself. So why-oh-why was Losstarot able to work his eerie mojo on me?

Subtlety and strength. He has a lot more power than I and has had a great deal of time to hone his skills. Further, there was an emotion he could use to trip me up - my pride. Dark-users who can see hearts can use this skill to pinpoint the best way with which to affect their target (I won't say victim because in the case of Losstarot and Riot, the point was not to harm). In my case, pride was the point where I had blinkers on.

In the cases of Greene and Hardin it was desire - or more accurately love.

(A CAVEAT LECTOR: beyond this point I'm going to be discussing curses, illusions, and exploitation of people's hearts via unscrupulous, unethical use of the Dark. If you're squicked out or set to flailing by this (which is understandable) you prrrrrobably don't want to read on. If you do want to read on but you become squicked out or set to flailing anyhow, I'm sorry about that and I'll do my best to assuage the "OH MY FUCK, ROSENCRANTZ, YOU DOUCHE HOUND". This is not a happy fun topic, in this post. I swear I'll be discussing non-dick uses of the Dark later!)

( more of my nonsense beyond this here link. )

I've become a snob about ice cream.

...Well I was always PICKY about it but now it's just like - Chapman's can go to hell and suck THERE. XD; It tastes GRITTY.

Kawartha Dairy is the love of my life still but since I can't get that here right now fuck it HAAGEN DAZS IT IS!

Icon injoke nurr hurr. XD

DAMN IT DUDE WILL YOU PLS LOCATE YOUR PHYLACTERY ALREADY AFDHGFstfdxAMsgjk AHMAHGAHH SERIOUS WHAT.

how the shiny pink plaid hell do you even lose one of those i don't even -

oh my god your underlings are dense. (two of them are at least.)

and you sir are an airhead.

and spoony.

in closing stop hiding in the floor and being a dork therein.

Holy hell, man, this has got to be the most fabulous example of uncanny-bastard A.I. I have ever fucking seen.

Like. You know when you're fighting some boss o another in a game and it starts to seem as if the jerkass is TAUNTING YOU DIRECTLY?

Yeah, that's what this is.

About four minutes in when the boss starts spamming the energy pulse thing, that's what that is. My jaw frigging dropped. I mean, that's above and beyond even my friend Code's FF7 game in which Sepher Sephiroth kept bitchslapping Cloud around with the freaky black wing and making Code spam status cures and Phoenix Downs like motherfuck. (This bossfight session elicited the exclamation "Son of a Santafucker!" He does seasonal profanity!)

That, though, that there is like -

- You cannot tell me it doesn't look like the boss is going "Oh yeah, and also: nyah nyah nyah" when he peeks out of the flooooooor. (That's creepy, dude, knock that off.)

It's like the Bastard Dice phenomenon only with more pixels.

(Warning: the boss theme WILL get stuck in your head.)

Also starring: One of the best LP voice acting adlibs I have ever seen. When he busted out with "What the fuck is going on" I just lost it entirely.