Scaramouche, Scaramouche

Ohh. Emm. Eff. Gee.

I know beta is beta and all this is subject to change.

But.

Thus far?

I can have Remorseless Winter


and


I will get Soul Reaper

EXCUSE ME


FANPLOSION

yes, i really like teh lich king ;p

(NOTE: if you've seen these on WoWHead--yes, that was me! I know it's somewhat wimpy of me to have posted under a masculine alias--and under the in-universe IM handle of an old RP character, even, the nerdherding WRAPS AROUND TWICE--but a lot of things seem like a good idea after a couple bottles of hard cider and very little sleep. Egad, narf, poit and so on.)

So sometimes, I get bored.

Sometimes I get bored and there's a headless pyromaniac like *HAPEN* all over WoW with rhyming couplets.

And then poetry is like *HAPEN*. Because it has to.

Then sometimes I get an anthology manga that has that headless pyromaniac's backstory in it.

And then more poetry--yeah you get the picture.

(Warning: there are spoilers for the Horseman's backstory in here!)

(FURTHER Warning: THIS IS STUPID.)

So without further ado, I present:

( VARIOUS AND SUNDRY NOT-REALLY-ODES TO THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN! )

And a bonus NEVER BEFORE SEEN because you bore with me! How the Risen view their 'boss' is pure conjecture on my part, and probably pees on the altar of canon...but seeing as they are all completely off their heads, they don't ACT any differently than their living counterparts, and they still call themselves the Scarlet Crusade...yeah, I'm thinking they're a TAD delusional. If they know who he really is, they're not letting on to ME, so I'm assuming they're really in denial. :B

But anyway, on with the nonsense, and I apologize for any exploding of canon...

( ... )

They are enormous, prim, articulate, intellectual Ancient-Egypt-y spiders and that rocks.

So this made me really happy to see. XD

I like that people remember that Anub'arak wasn't a sellout. (I'm guessing it's epic spider pride /\8/\ that makes the living Nerubians figure he is; after all, nothing could possibly outwit or outclobber Anub so he must've thrown in his lot with the bodiless oaf, right? Most improper!) And that the Nerubians are not exactly willing fandoobies like the Cult of the Damned. Nerubians are arachnid Vulcans. XD

Blizzard seems to forget this, but they've forgotten a lot of stuff when it's convenient or Metzen hit the beer bong too hardthey got lazy or they forgot and didn't bother to look things up or w/e. Which...that's going the right way to futz your way into a corner plotwise. Diamond-shattering side-eye goes here.

ANYHOW back to the Nerubians...I wish we'd seen more of them in WoW, and we had gotten to go to Azjol-Nerub. We may well in the future if they move its zone map somewhere that isn't under Northrend lol--portal it like Quel'Thalas maybe. There are still old gods kicking about after all. I DUNNO MAN LOL WISHFUL THINKING.

( self-indulgent AU yammering XD )

Crimson Hall music! It has a sax in that sounds rather "Akio Car"-theme-esque.

A thing I wish the WotLK expansion had done is touch on the Blood Elves' legitimate beef with Arthas. And, y'know, explained why he seems to have thins Thing about elves....

The Crimson hall, and the Blood Princes' and Lana'thel's story, intrigue the hell out of me because they give me so much potential to PLAY WITH. I mean--for one, Lana is not avenging a boyfriend. That's something. Thalorien was not her lover or her husband, he was her best friend. It's unusual to see that in a franchise that seems to have narfed out a lot with gender role business. And not only is this the case, Lana manages to hold her own against wtfhax!Arthas for a while before he AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs and wins.

I really, really wish more of this story had been touched on in depth. Like--we know roughly who Valanar and Co. are with regard to their rank before death, and what happened to them, but little else. I would have LOVED to have seen something of their story, or Taldaram's, or AAAANY of the elfpires'. Who were Kal and Val before death? Why are they so close (the 'dear brother' thing--)? Who is Taldaram and why is he entrusted with such a big deal project? We know Kel and Val are asskickers if we have a DK and met them in the starter zone, but Tal is just kinda there. Who is he besides a dramatic pyro who has a habit of teleporting wayfuck across the room for the purpose of nomming boosted lowbies? AND! WTF happened to Atherann and Theraldis? SO much of the stuff dealing with the San'layn is SO intriguing. And the whole idea of the San'layn themselves beggars the question of what the heck is with Arthas's preoccupation with the Blood Elves seriously he has got an entire wing that is basically a harem there is something going on here you cannot tell me there is not.

There's a lot of things I wish had happened. For a big one, I wish we'd seen Garrosh get genuinely scared of LK, because, fuck, Ner'zhul is THE boogeyman after Gul'dan. He broke Draenor. He's become the opposite of everything orcs pride themselves on being. He has no honour. He doesn't sleep. I would have frigging LOVED to see Garrosh's loudmouthed bravado depicted as covering up his own fear and trying to convince himself that he is a bad enough dude to rescue the presidentkick the Lich King's ass. BUT--yeah. Characterization was one thing Wrath needed some huge help with.

I wish too that we'd seen evidence of the relationship that the Arthas novel introduced, i.e. Arthas and Varian being OMGBFF and having more chemistry than any of the canon pairings because Christie Golden hit up the Blizzard beer bong too many times. I mean, there's some stuff going on that you can easily parse as deliberate trollan--how the plague of the zombie invasion was spread, for example, and again with the plagued grain at Farshire. Like that's such a "HAY VARIAN THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING?" But then Varian hasn't gotten much in characterization full-stop outside the comics, let alone consistent thoughtful characterization, so NARF NARF POIT EGAD LOOKS LIKE AH GOTTA RITE THIS MAHSELF.

...And now I'm stuck with the mental image of( my version of) Varian hearing about the Crimson Halls, kind of BLINKING A LOT FOR A WHILE and then going, "...Why...does that bastard have a harem full of--of--elfpires!?"

And Jaina's all "Long story."

In conclusion Aethas is so freakin' Kael and no one can dissuade me from this.

TITLE: Exeunt Omnes?
FANDOM: WoW
PEOPLE: Sylvanas and Koltira
PAIRING: Implied Thass/Koltira. I SHIP IT HARD.
RATING: PG-ish, I think, just for discussion of past violence, and one or two cusses.
WARNINGS: Discussion of nasty war tactics (in particular the shit pulled in WCIII by a certain commander), and of Varian's and Garrosh's canonical pasts.
NOTES: This is one of few times you will ever see me working in WoW's canon proper. XD Of course, my take on the canon events is much different. Basically--ever wondered why the Andorhal questline's writing was so shitty and hammy, and why everyone was acting liek they were hopped up on something potent? Read on. XD

( exit stage right, pursued by a banshee )

Blizzard,

Stop investing your time in doing whatever the gnomish fuck it was you did to get a character out of my brains and into data form (SERIOUSLY THAT DORK PALADIN IS AERIONN, just Aer's got redder hair and a darker complexion - he's actually darker than can be depicted in the game lmao I never got indoctrinated into 'all elves are white' because I'm a feral nerd who was a loser among losers XD) and start spending your time removing all of Chris Metzen's bongs from your building and hiring writers and betas.

Preferably writers and betas who are ladies and/or PoCs.

And stop failing at Jaina, Tyrande and Sylvanas, or I will cut you, because seriously.

Boom shanka,
-Yukie

P.S. NO REALLY, GET OUT OF MY BRAINS, TAKING A PAGE OUT OF THE LICH KING'S BOOK IS NOT ON, DUDES

P.P.S. It is totally you guys' fault Aer's been laughing his little head off since Kyl linked me that page. You !caffeinated my elf and now you shall pay.

Also, my music choice has nothing to do with white supremacist wonkos in the USA; they're a Canuck band who're getting back together after a long hiatus, and they pwn, and they predate the wonkage by a WHILE. Dear wonkos, get the fuck out of awesome band names and go get crisped by Ragnaros.

hey boy now boy busboy cowboy [/ridonk camp counselor]

Mazoku Trio bios: FINISHED!

I AM SO JOYOUS!

There'll be more bios later but those three are complete XD Mostly.