![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Entry tags:
Mall: Solstice incoming
There is no excuse for this, for it is ridiculous, but EVERYONE IN MY MIND IS LOUD. So - have some people from the Mall. XD Galya and her big tall fellow-Russian buddy will be in the next one.
There will be bios for these nutcakes SOON! Aimie, the Innkeeper, and the git brother belong to my friend JDub, who dreams of the same mall.
***
"Ow fuck fuck fuck fuck why did I do that."
Yucali watched Rhyth whip his hand back and forth to shake the zappy feeling out of his fingers. "Balls if I know, dude. But I never know why you do anything."
"Rhyth stuck his thumb into the bulb socket because Rhyth is still bereft of a mind." Youan was hanging upside down by his knees from the ceiling beams, the garland draped over his neck and shoulders to keep it from sliding off the beam and into the fountain like it'd dome the past two times.
"No you," mumbled Rhyth, making a beeline for the spare bulbs. "Can't we get LEDs? These are stupid."
"We're trying?" Dou-cha looked up from untangling the knot of lights. "We just need to get the okay from everyone before we do the shift. Democracy et cetera."
"Uuugghhh, Dou, you know damned well the Innkeeper's stupid son is going to nay' vote just to be an ass," Youan griped.
"That's why we'll deposit him in the fountain when he does. The shallow one."
"...I approve." Youan did a sort of a pull-up and started winding the garland around the beam. "That way he can't whine and moan that we're trying to drown him the way he did last time."
"As if he CAN drown," Rhyth muttered. "Deep people can't, can they?"
"No," said Youan. "No, they cannot."
Yucali found an extension cord. "So where's Duke? he said he'd be back with the banners like half an hour ago."
"Probably distracted by something," said Dou-cha. "My husband is a dork."
"It could be that the Dryads had tea," Tela mused. She'd been engrossed in mending a frayed wire and thus unable to converse much (when Weavers spun in human form they drew the thread from their tongues, for whatever strange reason). "He likes their tea. And Lianlian is an excellent hostess, so doubtless she had those little pastry things--"
"If he doesn't bring some back I'm biting him," said Youan.
"He'll bite you back," Rhyth snerked.
"Well, I'll bite him more."
An almighty crash came form the storage room then, followed shortly by a "Son of a bitch ass dick butt - purple dildo."
"Aimie?" Tela called, alarmed. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"Why does this stupid, stupid fake castle have pudgy fake minaret roofs?" Aimie bellowed. "And why do they have to come at my face en masse? WHY IS IT EVEN IN HERE? ...Oh what, how much glitter is even - help?"
"We have a fake castle?" Rhyth blinked.
"Well, we do now. It could've fallen through between somewhere," Yucali said.
A pudgy fake minaret roof rolled out of the closet, leaving a trail of blue glitter as it went. "Never mind," called Aimie. "I won."
"Um," said Youan. And, "Wow."
Aimie emerged from the supply closet, also leaving a trail of glitter. "I kicked it," she said, "and it didn't die."
Youan looked from Aimie's steel-capped stompity boots to the pseudo-minaret. "Holy fuck, what is that thing made of?"
"Something I can throw at my brother without getting owned by mom for breaking."
The outside access door slammed, heralding Duke's return. He was singing loudly, and hand an armload of greenery. Following closely behind him were Jingyi and the ladies from the tea shoppe.
Ms. Cruikshank smiled and held up a large, very pink box. "Sustenance," she said. "You've been at this hours, ducks, you MUST be hungry."
Ms. Yamamoto had a samovar on an elegant little cart. "You've more than earned a break."
"Sweet," squeaked Rhyth, dropping the string of lights. He skidded over to the samovar, leaned down so his grandmother could kiss his cheek, and then set to filling the little blue cups.
Aimie was making hexing-slash-warding off gestures at the box. "Gah! So pink!"
"Endure it a bit longer while I cut this flipping string," Ms. Cruikshank muttered, finding that the pastry shoppe's proprietor (another Weaver) had gone a bit crazy with the decorative ribbons and made the bows night-impossible to undo. "I got caramel crunch tartlets. I've wanted some for ages - "
Aimie bounced, and Youan jumped down from the ceiling, landing in a crouch on all fours. The garland followed him down.
"...Dammit," he said.
"Hook failure." Rhyth blinked as said hooks plinked to the floor as if on cue. "Amend: epic hook failure. Who bought those?"
"Fuck those," Youan said. "Who cares? They're stupid. Tela, can I harass you to give me some string so I can have a fastening method that WORKS?"
"Of course," Tela said, smiling. "it's no good if someone gets concussed by a falling hook."
"Funny," said Duke, who'd been silent on account of having stolen a cake through the box's shadow and fit the whole thing in his mouth somehow. "But no good."
"Did you even chew that," Dou-cha mumbled, "or just engulf it?"
"Pastries give me strength," replied Duke, as if that answered anything. He picked up one of the still knotted strings of lights. "What the dongs, incandescence. Are we still waiting for votes on these? Aimie, must I shake down Percival's trifling ass once more? Must I punch him repeatedly in the zone? We TALKED about this."
"Meaning, you had fangs at him and he almost peed?" Aimie fluttered her eyelashes.
"He deserved it," Youan said, and then went back to being blissful at his tea.
"I will not disagree."
Jingyi was now curled around a teacup warming up. Tela sat next to her winding loose string into a ball. "Did we do enough greenery," Jingyi asked, "or shall I climb into the little planter in that fountain int he east wing and we can grow more?"
"Nah, we got a ton," Rhyth said. "You guys may have gone a little overboard but hey. it's a seasonal tradition."
"Percival was whinging about it when he came looking for Aimie this afternoon," Jingyi sighed. "I don't know how many times I have to tell him that I won't tell him where she is..."
"Oh, is THAT why he was all huffy," Aimie snorted. "Also, Jingyi, don't blame yourself if he IS holding off his vote, it's not because of you. He's just an asshead."
Duke decided to ignore the make of the bulbs for the time being. "No one but NO ONE grudgewanks like Percival," he said to no one especially. "I know you've been ever-so-fortunate enough to not ever meet him, Rhyth, but he'd make Libris want to beat him with a book. I swear. He's just that fuckity-damn annoying. I don't even know what brought that shit on either. It just came out of the blue one day, like READY! AIM! DICK!"
"That was a visual I needed, Duke, thank you." Youan made a face.
"The scrotumariousness of his antics has plumbed whole new levels of fail recently too." A pause. "...I'm going to keep on making up juvenile portmanteau words with 'scrotum' in them, just so you know."
"Feel free."
"Yeah so by the way speaking of Percival and the fact that he is indeed a scrotumwaffle, we found out where the ornaments are!"
"Oh god," groaned Rhyth. "Aw naw."
"Yeah, that. He fucking TOOK the ornaments for no reason. I don't know WHERE, and neither does HE because he is a NUMBSKULL who cannot navigate LIMINAL CORRIDORS worth HALF A SHITPEBBLE." Duke gestured. "And yes, the Shatnerism is necessary for emphasis, I'm just that pissed with him. Those could be anywhere now."
"You could put up a reward poster," Yucali said. "The Noble kids might have found them, they find everything."
"The Noble kids would try to smoke the ornaments," Youan said. "And then somehow craft them into a really festive bong upon realizing you can't smoke our glass either."
"WHY would they think you could smoke - never mind."
Dou-cha said, "I'll go and ask them now - it's not far from there to here for me and I want to give them their talismans anyhow."
Duke kissed the top of her head. "Go forth and floorswim at them."
Dou-cha desended into the marble tiles as if descending a staircase; only her shadow remained once she'd submerged, and it 'swam' off to the north.
Aimie squeaked then, gesticulated madly, and then pointed at the lights. "Eeee!"
"Oh, ta-da!" Jingyi - now thawed out after liberal application of tea - grabbed up the end of a string of lights. "It's changing. Percival wasn't being an ass this time."
Even though everyone had seen something like this a few dozen times before it was still fun to watch. Glass turned to faceted plastic, the plugs lost their ground-fault prong, and the missing bulbs even saw fit to pop back into existence as he metamorphosis finished.
"Oh, ta-da?" snerked Aimie.
"I see that the bulbs did not see fit to stop having an orgy of the damned in the box," Youan sighed, "even as they saw fit to be LEDs."
"Well, they can't make it too easy for us." Rhyth lifted the giant ball of lights. "...I'm struck by the urge to sing some Bee-gees--"
"NO, RHYTH. NO."
"It's not a disco ball," said Ms. Yamamoto.
"We HAVE a disco ball, though!"
"Rhyth, I'm going to kick you," Youan said, and advanced melodramatically.
"No, hear me out," Rhyth laughed, trying to fend him off with the lights. "We could hang it in the middle of the atrium and aim some of the blue lights at it, it'd look pretty wicked with the snowflakes."
Youan stopped making exaggerated rar-rar faces. "Oh hey. You're right."
Rhyth draped the lights over him; upon contact with Youan they fell out of their tangle.
"I will never get used to that," Aimie said.
Dou-cha emerged from the floor then, and then reached back down into it and hauled out two large cardboard boxes. "The nobles had them," she said. "They found last year's too."
"But I thought the hibiscus ate those!" Aimie stared.
"Maybe they went there after it ate them." Rhyth pondered.
"I'm sorry about the hibiscus," Jingyi said. "There wasn't any other plant that got sentient when I made the throne go crazy, at least."
"Don't be sorry," said Aimie. "It was mostly dead until you did that. And now mom has another source of income."
Youan finished his tea. "Well. Back to the drudgery?"
"You didn't have a cake," said Ms. Cruikshank.
"I thought Duke would have engulfed them all by now."
Duke affectionately flipped him off. "Only half."
"Oh hey, so you DO have self-control!"
"Yes, I just choose to not most of the time."
Dou-cha said, "Ms. Cruikshank, how many cakes are in that box, anyhow?"
"As many as there need to be," said Ms. Cruikshank, and grinned. "Why?"
Ms. Yamamoto followed Dou-cha's sideways glance. Upon sightihng the small crowd at the glass doors, she blinked and grinned. "Oh my. The Noble boys and girls came here."
"Aren't they scared of here?" Aimie said.
Jingyi said, "My sisters are coming, too."
"Oh, That's why. They know you guys can cause weed."
There will be bios for these nutcakes SOON! Aimie, the Innkeeper, and the git brother belong to my friend JDub, who dreams of the same mall.
***
"Ow fuck fuck fuck fuck why did I do that."
Yucali watched Rhyth whip his hand back and forth to shake the zappy feeling out of his fingers. "Balls if I know, dude. But I never know why you do anything."
"Rhyth stuck his thumb into the bulb socket because Rhyth is still bereft of a mind." Youan was hanging upside down by his knees from the ceiling beams, the garland draped over his neck and shoulders to keep it from sliding off the beam and into the fountain like it'd dome the past two times.
"No you," mumbled Rhyth, making a beeline for the spare bulbs. "Can't we get LEDs? These are stupid."
"We're trying?" Dou-cha looked up from untangling the knot of lights. "We just need to get the okay from everyone before we do the shift. Democracy et cetera."
"Uuugghhh, Dou, you know damned well the Innkeeper's stupid son is going to nay' vote just to be an ass," Youan griped.
"That's why we'll deposit him in the fountain when he does. The shallow one."
"...I approve." Youan did a sort of a pull-up and started winding the garland around the beam. "That way he can't whine and moan that we're trying to drown him the way he did last time."
"As if he CAN drown," Rhyth muttered. "Deep people can't, can they?"
"No," said Youan. "No, they cannot."
Yucali found an extension cord. "So where's Duke? he said he'd be back with the banners like half an hour ago."
"Probably distracted by something," said Dou-cha. "My husband is a dork."
"It could be that the Dryads had tea," Tela mused. She'd been engrossed in mending a frayed wire and thus unable to converse much (when Weavers spun in human form they drew the thread from their tongues, for whatever strange reason). "He likes their tea. And Lianlian is an excellent hostess, so doubtless she had those little pastry things--"
"If he doesn't bring some back I'm biting him," said Youan.
"He'll bite you back," Rhyth snerked.
"Well, I'll bite him more."
An almighty crash came form the storage room then, followed shortly by a "Son of a bitch ass dick butt - purple dildo."
"Aimie?" Tela called, alarmed. "What happened? Are you okay?"
"Why does this stupid, stupid fake castle have pudgy fake minaret roofs?" Aimie bellowed. "And why do they have to come at my face en masse? WHY IS IT EVEN IN HERE? ...Oh what, how much glitter is even - help?"
"We have a fake castle?" Rhyth blinked.
"Well, we do now. It could've fallen through between somewhere," Yucali said.
A pudgy fake minaret roof rolled out of the closet, leaving a trail of blue glitter as it went. "Never mind," called Aimie. "I won."
"Um," said Youan. And, "Wow."
Aimie emerged from the supply closet, also leaving a trail of glitter. "I kicked it," she said, "and it didn't die."
Youan looked from Aimie's steel-capped stompity boots to the pseudo-minaret. "Holy fuck, what is that thing made of?"
"Something I can throw at my brother without getting owned by mom for breaking."
The outside access door slammed, heralding Duke's return. He was singing loudly, and hand an armload of greenery. Following closely behind him were Jingyi and the ladies from the tea shoppe.
Ms. Cruikshank smiled and held up a large, very pink box. "Sustenance," she said. "You've been at this hours, ducks, you MUST be hungry."
Ms. Yamamoto had a samovar on an elegant little cart. "You've more than earned a break."
"Sweet," squeaked Rhyth, dropping the string of lights. He skidded over to the samovar, leaned down so his grandmother could kiss his cheek, and then set to filling the little blue cups.
Aimie was making hexing-slash-warding off gestures at the box. "Gah! So pink!"
"Endure it a bit longer while I cut this flipping string," Ms. Cruikshank muttered, finding that the pastry shoppe's proprietor (another Weaver) had gone a bit crazy with the decorative ribbons and made the bows night-impossible to undo. "I got caramel crunch tartlets. I've wanted some for ages - "
Aimie bounced, and Youan jumped down from the ceiling, landing in a crouch on all fours. The garland followed him down.
"...Dammit," he said.
"Hook failure." Rhyth blinked as said hooks plinked to the floor as if on cue. "Amend: epic hook failure. Who bought those?"
"Fuck those," Youan said. "Who cares? They're stupid. Tela, can I harass you to give me some string so I can have a fastening method that WORKS?"
"Of course," Tela said, smiling. "it's no good if someone gets concussed by a falling hook."
"Funny," said Duke, who'd been silent on account of having stolen a cake through the box's shadow and fit the whole thing in his mouth somehow. "But no good."
"Did you even chew that," Dou-cha mumbled, "or just engulf it?"
"Pastries give me strength," replied Duke, as if that answered anything. He picked up one of the still knotted strings of lights. "What the dongs, incandescence. Are we still waiting for votes on these? Aimie, must I shake down Percival's trifling ass once more? Must I punch him repeatedly in the zone? We TALKED about this."
"Meaning, you had fangs at him and he almost peed?" Aimie fluttered her eyelashes.
"He deserved it," Youan said, and then went back to being blissful at his tea.
"I will not disagree."
Jingyi was now curled around a teacup warming up. Tela sat next to her winding loose string into a ball. "Did we do enough greenery," Jingyi asked, "or shall I climb into the little planter in that fountain int he east wing and we can grow more?"
"Nah, we got a ton," Rhyth said. "You guys may have gone a little overboard but hey. it's a seasonal tradition."
"Percival was whinging about it when he came looking for Aimie this afternoon," Jingyi sighed. "I don't know how many times I have to tell him that I won't tell him where she is..."
"Oh, is THAT why he was all huffy," Aimie snorted. "Also, Jingyi, don't blame yourself if he IS holding off his vote, it's not because of you. He's just an asshead."
Duke decided to ignore the make of the bulbs for the time being. "No one but NO ONE grudgewanks like Percival," he said to no one especially. "I know you've been ever-so-fortunate enough to not ever meet him, Rhyth, but he'd make Libris want to beat him with a book. I swear. He's just that fuckity-damn annoying. I don't even know what brought that shit on either. It just came out of the blue one day, like READY! AIM! DICK!"
"That was a visual I needed, Duke, thank you." Youan made a face.
"The scrotumariousness of his antics has plumbed whole new levels of fail recently too." A pause. "...I'm going to keep on making up juvenile portmanteau words with 'scrotum' in them, just so you know."
"Feel free."
"Yeah so by the way speaking of Percival and the fact that he is indeed a scrotumwaffle, we found out where the ornaments are!"
"Oh god," groaned Rhyth. "Aw naw."
"Yeah, that. He fucking TOOK the ornaments for no reason. I don't know WHERE, and neither does HE because he is a NUMBSKULL who cannot navigate LIMINAL CORRIDORS worth HALF A SHITPEBBLE." Duke gestured. "And yes, the Shatnerism is necessary for emphasis, I'm just that pissed with him. Those could be anywhere now."
"You could put up a reward poster," Yucali said. "The Noble kids might have found them, they find everything."
"The Noble kids would try to smoke the ornaments," Youan said. "And then somehow craft them into a really festive bong upon realizing you can't smoke our glass either."
"WHY would they think you could smoke - never mind."
Dou-cha said, "I'll go and ask them now - it's not far from there to here for me and I want to give them their talismans anyhow."
Duke kissed the top of her head. "Go forth and floorswim at them."
Dou-cha desended into the marble tiles as if descending a staircase; only her shadow remained once she'd submerged, and it 'swam' off to the north.
Aimie squeaked then, gesticulated madly, and then pointed at the lights. "Eeee!"
"Oh, ta-da!" Jingyi - now thawed out after liberal application of tea - grabbed up the end of a string of lights. "It's changing. Percival wasn't being an ass this time."
Even though everyone had seen something like this a few dozen times before it was still fun to watch. Glass turned to faceted plastic, the plugs lost their ground-fault prong, and the missing bulbs even saw fit to pop back into existence as he metamorphosis finished.
"Oh, ta-da?" snerked Aimie.
"I see that the bulbs did not see fit to stop having an orgy of the damned in the box," Youan sighed, "even as they saw fit to be LEDs."
"Well, they can't make it too easy for us." Rhyth lifted the giant ball of lights. "...I'm struck by the urge to sing some Bee-gees--"
"NO, RHYTH. NO."
"It's not a disco ball," said Ms. Yamamoto.
"We HAVE a disco ball, though!"
"Rhyth, I'm going to kick you," Youan said, and advanced melodramatically.
"No, hear me out," Rhyth laughed, trying to fend him off with the lights. "We could hang it in the middle of the atrium and aim some of the blue lights at it, it'd look pretty wicked with the snowflakes."
Youan stopped making exaggerated rar-rar faces. "Oh hey. You're right."
Rhyth draped the lights over him; upon contact with Youan they fell out of their tangle.
"I will never get used to that," Aimie said.
Dou-cha emerged from the floor then, and then reached back down into it and hauled out two large cardboard boxes. "The nobles had them," she said. "They found last year's too."
"But I thought the hibiscus ate those!" Aimie stared.
"Maybe they went there after it ate them." Rhyth pondered.
"I'm sorry about the hibiscus," Jingyi said. "There wasn't any other plant that got sentient when I made the throne go crazy, at least."
"Don't be sorry," said Aimie. "It was mostly dead until you did that. And now mom has another source of income."
Youan finished his tea. "Well. Back to the drudgery?"
"You didn't have a cake," said Ms. Cruikshank.
"I thought Duke would have engulfed them all by now."
Duke affectionately flipped him off. "Only half."
"Oh hey, so you DO have self-control!"
"Yes, I just choose to not most of the time."
Dou-cha said, "Ms. Cruikshank, how many cakes are in that box, anyhow?"
"As many as there need to be," said Ms. Cruikshank, and grinned. "Why?"
Ms. Yamamoto followed Dou-cha's sideways glance. Upon sightihng the small crowd at the glass doors, she blinked and grinned. "Oh my. The Noble boys and girls came here."
"Aren't they scared of here?" Aimie said.
Jingyi said, "My sisters are coming, too."
"Oh, That's why. They know you guys can cause weed."
no subject