Snippet: FF7, AU, Kil in Seventh Heaven
Aug. 29th, 2010 02:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yukieApparently, the short Wutain woman with the tattoo of those giant goldfish going all up her arm didn't take kindly to noisy drunks. A yelp from one of them drew Tifa's attention from the steamed green soybeans that table 15 was supposed to be getting, and she looked up in time to see the woman grab one of the beer bros by the ear(!?) and tow him out the door.
"Crap," she muttered. Handing the soybeans over to a startled Barrett, she ran out the side door, hoping to head the fight off at the pass.
It wasn't really much of a fight. Tifa'd figured on a knock-down, drag-out brawl that would land both lady and doofus in the hospital before jail. Even if she was tiny - shorter than Tifa - she seemed to know what she was doing. And the big guy was just -
"Look, man. It's - it's - Bolt Vanderhuge. Coming to save the day with his articulated pecs."
Tifa felt her mood keel over and die completely.
Not only an impending brawl?
But Reno.
"What are you even doing here?" Tifa groaned.
"I'm bored," he replied. "So whaddya think? You pulling on shorty or Buff Drinklots?"
"I don't bet on bar brawls," said Tifa sourly. She started forward to break it up, as the yelling match part of the proceedings seemed to be over.
It was a really short-lived fight. You couldn't call it a brawl and you couldn't even call it a spat. The big guy ("No, Reef Blastbody, you fool!" Reno warbled) got in once punch that connected and the woman rolled with it, ducked under the next, and the speed with which she grabbed a handful of his collar and yanked until they were eye-to-eye would've put one's average angry striking snake to shame.
"Ghhkrgh," said the big guy, who'd discovered that his throat had pressure points.
"Figures," said the woman, and her voice was funny and rough. "Come down to it and you're just like the rest of the bigmouths. All talk and no cock."
She wasn't choking him. He wasn't turning blue. he could breathe fine - Tifa could see that.
He just couldn't retort or shake the woman off.
"Stupid kids these days, man. They think you ain't a hero if you die when a fucken dragon steps on your ass 'cuz you were movin' civilians out of the line of fire, or some lucky sniper shot picks you off never mind you just saved all your group from dying, never mind you just stopped a village from blowing up, never mind ANYTHING you did. You don't walk home both eyes both feet both hands brain all together YOU CAN'T BE A HERO."
She shook him hard.
"Oh no, anyone falls or gets his arm all shot off like Wallace in there or like gets busted in the head from shellshock? OH NO, can't be a hero. Hero can't get his white shirt all bloody, ever. You think war WORKS like that? You think it's all some old guy in dress blue talkin' to kids in a school? How you think he GOT there, dipshit!? Maybe he's alive because his best friend ain't and he's got that on his head. Maybe you don't know he's got no spleen on account of some bullet or sword-chuck or what-the-fucken-ever. You don't know."
"How the fuck do you?" gurgled the guy.
The lady gave him one hell of a sneering grin and yanked off the glove on her free hand with her teeth. Tifa sucked in her breath. There was a stark black tattoo there - the Greek letter theta, it looked like.
"SOLDIER class second, Ex. Shin-liu Kui. Odhinn batallion, third regiment. Honourable discharge on account of 'cuz my brain ain't on right. Surprise surprise! Little bitch knows more than big idiot."
She let the guy go only to crowd him into the wall.
Well, that explained the disproportionate strength, Tifa thought. Like, there was being damned clever - which this Ms. Kui was - but then there was flinging a big guy around like he was a little decorative feather pillow without using anything like the path of matching energy that Zangan thumped into her head. (Sometimes literally.)
"Never, ever talk about my friends that way again," Kui hissed. "Wanna tell me only the whole ones are real heroes, wanna tell me Seph wasn't a hero in Wutai standing out there no sword no nothing saying he ain't gonna fight and scaring the old guys so bad they drop their guns all over the place? FUCK. YOU. You dumbass little wretched dipshit wanksock. Maybe you been in fights, sure. Maybe you even been in a gang-war, I dunno - but I DO know what you DON'T fucken know. You don't know what heroism is."
She punctuated the statement with an index-finger jab in his chest.
"Not a fucken thing. Heroes are human. they get broken. They can DIE. I've seen 'em die. Shinigami? His bisho skinny ass don't CARE how much faith no shiny happy fanboys and fangirls have in their super duper prince or next Madame Tomoé! He don't care your sword has a name or a shiny middle or a rusty assed tsuba or nothing like any of that at all. Whether you're a good sho or a bad one, whether you like the rations or no, whether you get carsick up a mountain or don't. He don't care how many EVILDOERS been struck down by your epic blade. He don't care how many warlords you gone and stuck it up the nose of. He don't. He knows one thing: time, or not. If it's time, you die. If not, you live and maybe wish you gonna die."
She sporfled a bit. "Sometimes you rrrrreally wish that."
"She's really gone caca-cuckoo this time," Reno whispered cheerily. "I've never seen her get this mad. it's pretty epic. But remind me not to piss her off?"
"Hell no," muttered Tifa. "If she does this to you for something I will stand here and point and laugh."
Kui finally backed off a step; the big guy was sheet-white and sliding down the wall a little. Tifa didn't blame him. Kui was short, but short didn't mean anything. She was looming over him, weird glowing eyes looking like two righteously pissed blue fireflies in the dark of the alley. (She must have Nibel trader ancestry; before Wutai closed its borders most of the way and before people in the mountains started to go south to Midgar, Nibelheim'd been a biggish trading hub, and its merchants the few outsiders Wutai's Heavenly Sea Emperor could stand. Some of the merchants decided they liked Wutai better, parked, married, and had kids. Sometimes you got blue-eyed kids. Biology studies handwaved the persistence of this trait as being related to the crazy makou seepage on Mt. Nibel.)
"Go ahead, stupid boy. Tell me my friends who went down across the Sanzu and came out the other side born someone else weren't heroes in this run around the wheel. But I warn you - you do that and you kena get your fucken ass handed to you siah. I gotta show someone how stupid with my fists, then fine. No one tells me, ever, that the ones I know weren't heroes. No one tells me Seph wasn't a hero before he went all batshit. No one. EVER. Tell me they're inferior 'cos they died and I pitch you out the window."
The guy made a funny semisneezing noise.
"You think you're all funny gonna tell me 'ooh but Miss Kui we're outside' - shuddafuckup, you son of a prancing earwig duchess and a fucken super weasel. I wanna throw you out the window I'mma take your big ass back inside, open the fucken window carefully, and kick your ass out right through it. I like this bar; no windows gonna get all busted by an idiot for no reason mah."
She finally stooped to breathe.
When she could talk again, she said, "Now get the fuck outta here."
"Who the hell--"
"I SAID GET. NOW."
Okay. Tifa hadn't doubted the SOLDIER thing but the drill sergeant barking that made Reno twitch just underlined the proof, there.
The big guy hauled ass.
Reno started golf-course applauding.
Kui looked over at him with sharp eyes narrowed to creepy cobalt slits. Then she relaxed, snorted, rolled her eyes.
"Eh, fuck off, untucked shirt boy. You go around like that in my damn squadron I'd go upside your head with those rations they SAID are pancakes."
"No wonder they kicked you out of you were bludgeoning those poor cadets with petrified pseudo-hotcakes."
"I didn't say I did it to them. I said I'd do it to YOU."
She then turned to Tifa and looked rueful.
"I'm sorry about that. I probably stopped that guy from ever coming back here again."
Tifa started to giggle, and shrugged.
"I - I really don't care too much. There'll be other customers - ones that know how to tip and don't mutter lousy little rude terms for Corel people when they think Barrett can't hear and don't give me nicknames that make ME want to kick them out a damn window."
"Even so. Sorry. I don't get that angry much. I'm likely drunk. You probably ought to cut me off if I'm out brawling like some dumbass."
"That wasn't brawling as such," Reno said. "Brawling is usually two-sided. That was handing him his roody-poo candy-a--"
"Shut up, Reno," said Kui cheerfully.
***
l-lol this is long and stupid what. XD
Yes Kil's slangy punkspeak is heavily inspired by Singlish. I figured that such a thing would likely arise in Wutai since they have a huge tourism thing going, the pagoda crew have Russian names, and - yeah, I went 'lololololol history nerding wheee dejima wheeeeeee' and figured they didn't have total Sakoku, that the borders weren't completely sealed off with very harsh penalties for people crossing. Wutai's not an island, so things would have been different, probably. it's not EXACTLY China or EXACTLY Japan...there are ninja, and the country is sort of named after an actual type of pagoda in China (Wuta Si/Five Pagoda Temple) even if Wutai's pagoda doesn't look like one.
Anyhow. She can - and does usually - speak 'good English' (a relative term!), but when she gets pissed she's basically a punkass. I don't know. XD; It annoys Tseng!
tl;dr if this is annoying or sux let me know and I'll fix it.
"Crap," she muttered. Handing the soybeans over to a startled Barrett, she ran out the side door, hoping to head the fight off at the pass.
It wasn't really much of a fight. Tifa'd figured on a knock-down, drag-out brawl that would land both lady and doofus in the hospital before jail. Even if she was tiny - shorter than Tifa - she seemed to know what she was doing. And the big guy was just -
"Look, man. It's - it's - Bolt Vanderhuge. Coming to save the day with his articulated pecs."
Tifa felt her mood keel over and die completely.
Not only an impending brawl?
But Reno.
"What are you even doing here?" Tifa groaned.
"I'm bored," he replied. "So whaddya think? You pulling on shorty or Buff Drinklots?"
"I don't bet on bar brawls," said Tifa sourly. She started forward to break it up, as the yelling match part of the proceedings seemed to be over.
It was a really short-lived fight. You couldn't call it a brawl and you couldn't even call it a spat. The big guy ("No, Reef Blastbody, you fool!" Reno warbled) got in once punch that connected and the woman rolled with it, ducked under the next, and the speed with which she grabbed a handful of his collar and yanked until they were eye-to-eye would've put one's average angry striking snake to shame.
"Ghhkrgh," said the big guy, who'd discovered that his throat had pressure points.
"Figures," said the woman, and her voice was funny and rough. "Come down to it and you're just like the rest of the bigmouths. All talk and no cock."
She wasn't choking him. He wasn't turning blue. he could breathe fine - Tifa could see that.
He just couldn't retort or shake the woman off.
"Stupid kids these days, man. They think you ain't a hero if you die when a fucken dragon steps on your ass 'cuz you were movin' civilians out of the line of fire, or some lucky sniper shot picks you off never mind you just saved all your group from dying, never mind you just stopped a village from blowing up, never mind ANYTHING you did. You don't walk home both eyes both feet both hands brain all together YOU CAN'T BE A HERO."
She shook him hard.
"Oh no, anyone falls or gets his arm all shot off like Wallace in there or like gets busted in the head from shellshock? OH NO, can't be a hero. Hero can't get his white shirt all bloody, ever. You think war WORKS like that? You think it's all some old guy in dress blue talkin' to kids in a school? How you think he GOT there, dipshit!? Maybe he's alive because his best friend ain't and he's got that on his head. Maybe you don't know he's got no spleen on account of some bullet or sword-chuck or what-the-fucken-ever. You don't know."
"How the fuck do you?" gurgled the guy.
The lady gave him one hell of a sneering grin and yanked off the glove on her free hand with her teeth. Tifa sucked in her breath. There was a stark black tattoo there - the Greek letter theta, it looked like.
"SOLDIER class second, Ex. Shin-liu Kui. Odhinn batallion, third regiment. Honourable discharge on account of 'cuz my brain ain't on right. Surprise surprise! Little bitch knows more than big idiot."
She let the guy go only to crowd him into the wall.
Well, that explained the disproportionate strength, Tifa thought. Like, there was being damned clever - which this Ms. Kui was - but then there was flinging a big guy around like he was a little decorative feather pillow without using anything like the path of matching energy that Zangan thumped into her head. (Sometimes literally.)
"Never, ever talk about my friends that way again," Kui hissed. "Wanna tell me only the whole ones are real heroes, wanna tell me Seph wasn't a hero in Wutai standing out there no sword no nothing saying he ain't gonna fight and scaring the old guys so bad they drop their guns all over the place? FUCK. YOU. You dumbass little wretched dipshit wanksock. Maybe you been in fights, sure. Maybe you even been in a gang-war, I dunno - but I DO know what you DON'T fucken know. You don't know what heroism is."
She punctuated the statement with an index-finger jab in his chest.
"Not a fucken thing. Heroes are human. they get broken. They can DIE. I've seen 'em die. Shinigami? His bisho skinny ass don't CARE how much faith no shiny happy fanboys and fangirls have in their super duper prince or next Madame Tomoé! He don't care your sword has a name or a shiny middle or a rusty assed tsuba or nothing like any of that at all. Whether you're a good sho or a bad one, whether you like the rations or no, whether you get carsick up a mountain or don't. He don't care how many EVILDOERS been struck down by your epic blade. He don't care how many warlords you gone and stuck it up the nose of. He don't. He knows one thing: time, or not. If it's time, you die. If not, you live and maybe wish you gonna die."
She sporfled a bit. "Sometimes you rrrrreally wish that."
"She's really gone caca-cuckoo this time," Reno whispered cheerily. "I've never seen her get this mad. it's pretty epic. But remind me not to piss her off?"
"Hell no," muttered Tifa. "If she does this to you for something I will stand here and point and laugh."
Kui finally backed off a step; the big guy was sheet-white and sliding down the wall a little. Tifa didn't blame him. Kui was short, but short didn't mean anything. She was looming over him, weird glowing eyes looking like two righteously pissed blue fireflies in the dark of the alley. (She must have Nibel trader ancestry; before Wutai closed its borders most of the way and before people in the mountains started to go south to Midgar, Nibelheim'd been a biggish trading hub, and its merchants the few outsiders Wutai's Heavenly Sea Emperor could stand. Some of the merchants decided they liked Wutai better, parked, married, and had kids. Sometimes you got blue-eyed kids. Biology studies handwaved the persistence of this trait as being related to the crazy makou seepage on Mt. Nibel.)
"Go ahead, stupid boy. Tell me my friends who went down across the Sanzu and came out the other side born someone else weren't heroes in this run around the wheel. But I warn you - you do that and you kena get your fucken ass handed to you siah. I gotta show someone how stupid with my fists, then fine. No one tells me, ever, that the ones I know weren't heroes. No one tells me Seph wasn't a hero before he went all batshit. No one. EVER. Tell me they're inferior 'cos they died and I pitch you out the window."
The guy made a funny semisneezing noise.
"You think you're all funny gonna tell me 'ooh but Miss Kui we're outside' - shuddafuckup, you son of a prancing earwig duchess and a fucken super weasel. I wanna throw you out the window I'mma take your big ass back inside, open the fucken window carefully, and kick your ass out right through it. I like this bar; no windows gonna get all busted by an idiot for no reason mah."
She finally stooped to breathe.
When she could talk again, she said, "Now get the fuck outta here."
"Who the hell--"
"I SAID GET. NOW."
Okay. Tifa hadn't doubted the SOLDIER thing but the drill sergeant barking that made Reno twitch just underlined the proof, there.
The big guy hauled ass.
Reno started golf-course applauding.
Kui looked over at him with sharp eyes narrowed to creepy cobalt slits. Then she relaxed, snorted, rolled her eyes.
"Eh, fuck off, untucked shirt boy. You go around like that in my damn squadron I'd go upside your head with those rations they SAID are pancakes."
"No wonder they kicked you out of you were bludgeoning those poor cadets with petrified pseudo-hotcakes."
"I didn't say I did it to them. I said I'd do it to YOU."
She then turned to Tifa and looked rueful.
"I'm sorry about that. I probably stopped that guy from ever coming back here again."
Tifa started to giggle, and shrugged.
"I - I really don't care too much. There'll be other customers - ones that know how to tip and don't mutter lousy little rude terms for Corel people when they think Barrett can't hear and don't give me nicknames that make ME want to kick them out a damn window."
"Even so. Sorry. I don't get that angry much. I'm likely drunk. You probably ought to cut me off if I'm out brawling like some dumbass."
"That wasn't brawling as such," Reno said. "Brawling is usually two-sided. That was handing him his roody-poo candy-a--"
"Shut up, Reno," said Kui cheerfully.
***
l-lol this is long and stupid what. XD
Yes Kil's slangy punkspeak is heavily inspired by Singlish. I figured that such a thing would likely arise in Wutai since they have a huge tourism thing going, the pagoda crew have Russian names, and - yeah, I went 'lololololol history nerding wheee dejima wheeeeeee' and figured they didn't have total Sakoku, that the borders weren't completely sealed off with very harsh penalties for people crossing. Wutai's not an island, so things would have been different, probably. it's not EXACTLY China or EXACTLY Japan...there are ninja, and the country is sort of named after an actual type of pagoda in China (Wuta Si/Five Pagoda Temple) even if Wutai's pagoda doesn't look like one.
Anyhow. She can - and does usually - speak 'good English' (a relative term!), but when she gets pissed she's basically a punkass. I don't know. XD; It annoys Tseng!
tl;dr if this is annoying or sux let me know and I'll fix it.
