Snippet thing: Kupop, Thaeron is annoyed.
Aug. 18th, 2010 08:39 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yukie"What's the point in hiding from the fact that we're not infallible beings?"
Thaeron looked back over his shoulder with a faint scowl.
"And who, exactly, set the rule that says we MUST be? Honestly, trying to be perfect is a fools' errand. Trying to live up to every expectation is condemning yourself to the immense desire to go bop your head against a wall. These are not goals that ANYONE can reach. Try to, and all you do is bind yourself more and more to unhappiness. Inevitable unhappiness. The harder we try to be perfect, the less we'll manage it, too. We'll keep on making mistakes - and make more and more as we keep on trying to attain this impossible goal, this shining nebulous dream..."
He snorted.
"We can never always be everything expected of us, you know. No one can. Not even the one who put us here. Not ever. All of us will, at some point in time, sneeze tea out our noses. We will fall up the stairs, lose patience with word puzzles and people, snap at those people, and sometimes be selfish - which isn't always a bad thing, but I digress." A gesture. "Look, we can be just as much blinkered by our hopes and fears as can any human, elf, fae, youma, drow or nu. And you know? The sooner we learn to go 'well, that's just how it is to be a created being - I fouled up this time and I'll make amends and avoid that situation next time' the better."
He was starting to pace a bit now and his voice rose a bit. Not in anger, but - well, when he was passionate about something, it showed.
"I am VERY tired of seeing people whom I care for deeply hurt by others and themselves because they cannot be perfect, because they can never be what the majority wants them to me. Sister, you will never, ever be perfect. Neither will our brother, I definitely never will either. We will get angry over stupid little things like caterpillars on our salad or no more tea or broken book spines or beetles in the garden. We'll get arrogant or be careless sometimes - in short, we will live and make mistakes as created beings must. We cannot escape fallibility, but what we CAN do...what we HAVE to do is admit that we're fallible and learn from our errors. Popoie and the Greene children and Losstarot and Riot and Merlose and so on - that group, they're right. We cannot keep on as we have been. If we do, we'll just..." He trailed off, grinned ruefully. "We'll simply keep on."
The smile vanished and he sighed.
"It'll repeat again and again, over and over, with no end in sight. If we stay on this path... And before you go looking at your lap and feeling awful, sister - I'm not blaming you for this. No one is blaming you alone for this. I am not saying this is all your fault. I am saying that when I started to hear 'there has to be a better way than this', I started to think 'you know, they've a valid point!' We are not and can never be everything that everyone expects of us. We must give up that ridiculous dream. We have to try to break these old habits. Honestly, there's no point in maintaining this flawed structure. It's caving in, anyhow. We can't prop it up any longer. And really - " He started to chortle. "Really, who the hell needs all this pedestal-and-minion folderol? What we'd gain by abandoning that is what we had before!"
He was facing everyone now, arms raised. Now it was clear where Ansem and Xemnas got their remarkable talent for rhetoric and public speaking.
"We'll gain closer relationships with our younger siblings. We'll be able to share genuine love with them, and not love born out of fear or out of a desire for gain or possession. This damned pedestal idiocy has turned my sister into a prize to be won and it annoys the living daylights out of me! You have no IDEA how stone-sick I am of seeing you treated like that, tarucchaayaa. I am sick to death of seeing you reduced to a bauble at the same time as you are expected to be everything to everyone, and I am sick of seeing my cousin pounded and crushed and beaten, forced into the role of the 'demon'. And he is still forced - he didn't start out as he is and we both know it. He willingly acts like a damned asshole, he does any number of stupid unkind things, and he behaves appallingly a lot by choice, but he has also gone mad with the grief of years. He is not irredeemably evil. He is NOT. I am VERY, VERY TIRED of these ridiculous, unrealistic paradigms that rob my family and the people I love of the right to actually LIVE."
For a moment he looked like he might pound on the table, but he thought better of it seeing as that would knock over his teacup.
"We were never mean to be infallible and untouchable. We were never meant to be golden idols up on pedestals whom no one can hope to equal or approach, whom no one can hope to attain the perfection of the shining whatever the hell that damned poem goes like, it's stupid anyway and overwrought. I'm not sure when the rumour started that we were meant to be infallible, untouchable paragons beyond all reach, or where it started, but I'm looking at St. Ajora with a good lot of suspicion. And - either way. Where and when it started doesn't matter any more. What matters is this: when we abandon that notion for good, when we smash that absurd ideal to pieces, then you will no longer have to fear loving people of our younger kin. I think you know why. We will always have to be more responsible, don't get me wrong - we have more power so we must be more responsible, we are the older siblings and we must set a good example for those younger than we, but that SUCH a small price to pay for the end of this endless stupid dance. For your sake - and for the sake of my family..."
He lowered his gaze a moment, then looked up again, speaking softly now.
"For the sake of our cousin, tarucchaayaa, I will kill the old lies that bind us. Just watch me. And then, together, we will save him."
---
In re: that nickname you see, 'tarucchaayaa' is Sanskrit, meaning 'shade of a tree'; you can guess from this who he's discussing paradigm-punting with. XD
The cut text is from the heart sutra; it's the 'In this case, Shaariputra, form is itself emptiness and emptiness is itself form' line. Thaeron seems to like the notion of 'hold nothing'. XD
Thaeron looked back over his shoulder with a faint scowl.
"And who, exactly, set the rule that says we MUST be? Honestly, trying to be perfect is a fools' errand. Trying to live up to every expectation is condemning yourself to the immense desire to go bop your head against a wall. These are not goals that ANYONE can reach. Try to, and all you do is bind yourself more and more to unhappiness. Inevitable unhappiness. The harder we try to be perfect, the less we'll manage it, too. We'll keep on making mistakes - and make more and more as we keep on trying to attain this impossible goal, this shining nebulous dream..."
He snorted.
"We can never always be everything expected of us, you know. No one can. Not even the one who put us here. Not ever. All of us will, at some point in time, sneeze tea out our noses. We will fall up the stairs, lose patience with word puzzles and people, snap at those people, and sometimes be selfish - which isn't always a bad thing, but I digress." A gesture. "Look, we can be just as much blinkered by our hopes and fears as can any human, elf, fae, youma, drow or nu. And you know? The sooner we learn to go 'well, that's just how it is to be a created being - I fouled up this time and I'll make amends and avoid that situation next time' the better."
He was starting to pace a bit now and his voice rose a bit. Not in anger, but - well, when he was passionate about something, it showed.
"I am VERY tired of seeing people whom I care for deeply hurt by others and themselves because they cannot be perfect, because they can never be what the majority wants them to me. Sister, you will never, ever be perfect. Neither will our brother, I definitely never will either. We will get angry over stupid little things like caterpillars on our salad or no more tea or broken book spines or beetles in the garden. We'll get arrogant or be careless sometimes - in short, we will live and make mistakes as created beings must. We cannot escape fallibility, but what we CAN do...what we HAVE to do is admit that we're fallible and learn from our errors. Popoie and the Greene children and Losstarot and Riot and Merlose and so on - that group, they're right. We cannot keep on as we have been. If we do, we'll just..." He trailed off, grinned ruefully. "We'll simply keep on."
The smile vanished and he sighed.
"It'll repeat again and again, over and over, with no end in sight. If we stay on this path... And before you go looking at your lap and feeling awful, sister - I'm not blaming you for this. No one is blaming you alone for this. I am not saying this is all your fault. I am saying that when I started to hear 'there has to be a better way than this', I started to think 'you know, they've a valid point!' We are not and can never be everything that everyone expects of us. We must give up that ridiculous dream. We have to try to break these old habits. Honestly, there's no point in maintaining this flawed structure. It's caving in, anyhow. We can't prop it up any longer. And really - " He started to chortle. "Really, who the hell needs all this pedestal-and-minion folderol? What we'd gain by abandoning that is what we had before!"
He was facing everyone now, arms raised. Now it was clear where Ansem and Xemnas got their remarkable talent for rhetoric and public speaking.
"We'll gain closer relationships with our younger siblings. We'll be able to share genuine love with them, and not love born out of fear or out of a desire for gain or possession. This damned pedestal idiocy has turned my sister into a prize to be won and it annoys the living daylights out of me! You have no IDEA how stone-sick I am of seeing you treated like that, tarucchaayaa. I am sick to death of seeing you reduced to a bauble at the same time as you are expected to be everything to everyone, and I am sick of seeing my cousin pounded and crushed and beaten, forced into the role of the 'demon'. And he is still forced - he didn't start out as he is and we both know it. He willingly acts like a damned asshole, he does any number of stupid unkind things, and he behaves appallingly a lot by choice, but he has also gone mad with the grief of years. He is not irredeemably evil. He is NOT. I am VERY, VERY TIRED of these ridiculous, unrealistic paradigms that rob my family and the people I love of the right to actually LIVE."
For a moment he looked like he might pound on the table, but he thought better of it seeing as that would knock over his teacup.
"We were never mean to be infallible and untouchable. We were never meant to be golden idols up on pedestals whom no one can hope to equal or approach, whom no one can hope to attain the perfection of the shining whatever the hell that damned poem goes like, it's stupid anyway and overwrought. I'm not sure when the rumour started that we were meant to be infallible, untouchable paragons beyond all reach, or where it started, but I'm looking at St. Ajora with a good lot of suspicion. And - either way. Where and when it started doesn't matter any more. What matters is this: when we abandon that notion for good, when we smash that absurd ideal to pieces, then you will no longer have to fear loving people of our younger kin. I think you know why. We will always have to be more responsible, don't get me wrong - we have more power so we must be more responsible, we are the older siblings and we must set a good example for those younger than we, but that SUCH a small price to pay for the end of this endless stupid dance. For your sake - and for the sake of my family..."
He lowered his gaze a moment, then looked up again, speaking softly now.
"For the sake of our cousin, tarucchaayaa, I will kill the old lies that bind us. Just watch me. And then, together, we will save him."
---
In re: that nickname you see, 'tarucchaayaa' is Sanskrit, meaning 'shade of a tree'; you can guess from this who he's discussing paradigm-punting with. XD
The cut text is from the heart sutra; it's the 'In this case, Shaariputra, form is itself emptiness and emptiness is itself form' line. Thaeron seems to like the notion of 'hold nothing'. XD
no subject
Date: 2010-08-19 01:48 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-08-19 01:58 am (UTC)Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2010-08-19 01:59 am (UTC)-A
no subject
Date: 2010-08-19 02:18 am (UTC)I know it's hard to lay down the burden of others' expectations - especially for someone as kind as you are. But - it was hard for our cousin paraanta too and look how he ended up, the poor dimwit.
(Yes, I see you making that face over there. That is a very crinkled nose indeed. Are you sure you're not properly a cat who's just turned into a twolegged being?)
I don't like seeing people I love bound by harmful nonsense. Yes, a lot is expected of us, and it's hard to feel like we're letting people down. But we can make it better - if not now, then soon.
I want you - and all of us of the eldest - to be able to love in freedom, and for our younger siblings to do the same. You are the emissary of Pure Love. It's hard for you to get your message across when you have to climb over this mountain of silly ideals to be heard, right?
It's time we knocked the stupid tower down. It's already begun; we just need to keep going.
And I'm repeating myself here. Shamelessly, even! Sorry about that, tarucchaayaa. I got carried away.
♥,
-Thaeron Rashid Dhimant