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yukieSo I *cough*procured*cough* some digital copies of various tie-in novels and comics and et cetera and so forth on night during a fit of insomnia and boredom. Haven't managed to read much of Knaak's malarkey beyond a few sentences (the cadence of his writing is just irritating as almighty fuck to me, like every sentence is like "s/he was an adjective, adjective noun" and it reminds me of this goofy song my sister and I sang as kids: "oh in the dark, dark woods you find a dark, dark house and in the dark, dark house you find a dark, dark room" etc. and it ends with finding a ghost in a dark, dark box, but my sister tended to put the box with the ghost inside of fifteen or so MORE prior dark, dark boxes--or as many dark, dark boxes as she could get away with before my dad flipped out and demanded we knock it off) but I did manage to read some of it!
HERE I SHALL YAMMER ABOUT THE THINGS I READ! This isn't really a review asmuch as a bunch of impressions and random piles of bollocks. I'll cover the manga/manhwa and comics in this entry; books come next.
Needless to say ZOMG SPOILERS
MANGA/MANHWA
-The Sunwell Trilogy (which I plan to re-review in a more concise form--and hopefully not get called a moron by whiny-ass cowards for, this time! I still think Dar'khan is completely gay for Arthas.)
-The Random Netherwing Dragon Duology (which was scanned at an annoying resolution, had incredible pacing problems, couldn't characterize the Netherwing dragons consistently, and WTBFH was with the ending anyway...about the only upside was random paladin bondage, even though that's really obviously Knaak having a thing about such and being in rampant denial about it a la LKH. I laugh at his repression and stupidness.)
-The Legends Series (which ranges from pretty good to keysmashingly stupidly dumb. It's a story-anthology series, and most of them come in two parts. Tragg Highmountain gets a four-parter in which Knaak bungles lore again, doesn't know how Tauren are, and doesn't realize that Arthas was more than able to resurrect Galakrond and indeed was in the process of doing just that in-game. Stop wanking on the dragons, ugly-stache. Anyway! There's a story about Draka that's really rather cute and awesome--Durotan heartmarks at her badassery in the end! There's a story about twin girls who go and try to bail their dad's ghost out of Karazhan, and that's rather adorable even though the second part's inker didn't know what they were doing as such. My favourite two are "A Cleansing Fire" (the Headless Horseman's origin story, in Volume 5) and "Crusaders' Blood" (a really well done violence-begets-violence story in Volume 3 about Renee Lauer, in which Sylvanas is AMAZING in her brief appearance, Varimathras is hilariously crabby, and Blood Elves and Forsaken are badasses). Some of the stories are dumb--the one about Nesingwary is snortworthy--but, yeah. As any anthology is, this is a mixed bag.)
-The Death Knight, Mage and Shaman class-specific manga (which all suffer from similar DIRE pacing problems, scant or inconsistent characterization, and occasional eyeroll-worthy plot tweests.
-The DK manga has some occasionally doofy art, forgets that Thassarian is QUITE A DORK (see: asking the player to kick cultists in the teeth, saying the player is always on time like gnomish clockwork, etc.), and was very clearly not meant to be a single-volume story. On the upside, I love how Rocio Zucchi draws elves and how she draws Thassarian and she doesn't make some of the DEMENTED layout and scene choices that you see in the Sunwell Trilogy.
-The Shaman one stretches my disbelief a lot--fire elemental cosplaying a Tauren, riiiiight. Also, I knew that apprentice was going to get fridged. Also also, I really think the Grimtotems aren't stupid enough to work for a Ragnaros fanboy. On the upside, Rocio Zucchi draws AWESOME Tauren and this has somewhat better pacing and it's fairly consistent with how shamanism is supposed to work in lore.
-The Mage manga is the most...pointless of the three. The protagonist Aodhan (I do like his name, even though the author's obvious Celt-fetishization annoys my tits off) is almost a non-entity--he's not very well-drawn (sometimes literally, which BUGS me because usually Kawakami's work is MUCH better) and it was difficult for me to connect with him for much of the story. His uncle is very obviously up to no good, Modera is the only woman in the book, Aethas is the only non-human hero in the book and poorly-written to boot...bluhh. Rhonin is okay in this, which is fucking shocking given the quote-unquote author, and some of the dangerous Dalaran library book malarkey is actually cute. Conclusion: don't let Knaak create characters, make him stick to concepts and mechanics. LOLLE.)
COMICS
-The Ashbringer Quadrilogy (which--okay, for fucksakes Lullabi you egregious noob, LEARN HOW TO DRAW A HUMAN SKELETON IF YOU ARE GOING TO TRY TO DRAW KT, OR HE WILL LOOK ABSURD! Also I really don't like how this characterized Alex and its obnoxious tendency to bold and italic incredibly random words for no discernible fucking reason makes me read all the characters as having a similar cadence to Willian Freaking Shatner seriously all the WoW comics have this problem and it bothers the hell out of me, get someone on board who knows typography. Also, learn2onomatopoeia. All in all, pretty mediocre, though better than the comic series about Varian--Ashbringer had some decent action scenes, and the means by which Alex got his brain b0rked was pretty wicked.)
-The Comic Series About Varian and then About Garona's Random Questionably-Canonical Kid (which started out as fairly lolzy, rather enjoyably giggle-worthy cheese that didn't play at being anything BUT cheese, but tried to make the jump to being 'more mature/serious' and failed terribly. Blizzard, if you ever try to address issues of addiction every again without doing homework, I'm ending you all. That is not how things with the Blood Elves work. Die. Also, Lullabi and Co., learn how breasts work before you try to draw them. Also also, stop making Valeera fight in a leotard with a thong bottom. Hell--everyone in this is a fashion victim--Lo'gosh!Varian and his Christoper Belmont getup, Valeera in her battlethong, anything Katrana ever wears, Suave!Varian and Anduin's dorky Masters of the Universe clothing, whatever that disaster is they foisted on poor Aegwynn--the list goes on! Also also also, that Dreadlord has a really stupid name and it's very inconsistent with the others'. All of the rest of them have names like "Mal'ganis" and "Balnazzar" and "Anetheron" and "Lord Banehallow" and such. "Kathra'natir" sounds like the name of a Highborne sorcerer with a taste for haute couture and fancy coffee drinks. Consistency, pl0x. And speaking of consistency--godDAMN is it EVER obvious they lost the plot on what the fuck they were trying to do with Varian. Once he becomes one guy again, he becomes an obnoxious jerkass and a plot button--much like how Garrosh is depicted. I really wish this crap had not been the guidepost of both their characterizations. Also also also also, fuck this fragging Aegwynn for no reason! And I'm not even gonna bother about Me'dan. That is stupeed. And Broll is a pompous ass. Hey buddyboy, let me remind you that it's your people's fault he Burning Legion found Azeroth, and therefore indirectly your fault Valeera is a magic addict. Kiss my fabulous ass. God, I hate self righteous preachers, especially in material that FUCKING FAILS AT DEPICTION OF DEALING WITH ADDICTION. Shut up, you irritating DOUCHE. On the upside, Thrall and Jaina were cute.)
-The Curse of the Worgen (which--oh my god, what is even going on here, this is disorganized as all hell. People still cannot draw boobs, I don't like that the origin of the Scythe of Elune was spelled out as it was (I vastly preferred its questionable nature), and--FFS, the random priestess's name is spelled B E L Y S R A in this. Can people not check these things? ANYWAY--yeah. Alpha Prime is a stupid name, nobody's done any homework at all about how wolves behave which is SAD because the original in-game Ganking-Sons-of-Arugal Worgen DID sort of act like wolf-wolves, we still don't have a concrete reason why it was the wolf shapeshift that went all stupid in such a malignant way (staying overlong in any shapeshift can mess with one's head but--WTF with the biting, did they ever explain this outright or is it just assumed th...you know what never mind)...the colour work is quite pretty and Godfrey's lulzy flying leap is quite epic, but I resent the chickification of Lorna and the comic's effort to follow the starting zone falls flat. All in all, not well done.)
-The teaser-trailer issue that would have heralded the Alliance and Horde centric comics (which reminded me, in art-style and writing, a LOT of old-fashioned Prince Valiant type newspaper soap operatic serials. I would have been interested to read these--ESPECIALLY since one issue was supposed to deal with the Riders of Duskwood OH MY GOD ugly sobbing here for what might have been. I have no doubt these would have been pure fromage but the art was quite nice and I appreciated the b'elfadin guy.)
I'll be gettin' into the actual novels in my next post.
HERE I SHALL YAMMER ABOUT THE THINGS I READ! This isn't really a review asmuch as a bunch of impressions and random piles of bollocks. I'll cover the manga/manhwa and comics in this entry; books come next.
Needless to say ZOMG SPOILERS
MANGA/MANHWA
-The Sunwell Trilogy (which I plan to re-review in a more concise form--and hopefully not get called a moron by whiny-ass cowards for, this time! I still think Dar'khan is completely gay for Arthas.)
-The Random Netherwing Dragon Duology (which was scanned at an annoying resolution, had incredible pacing problems, couldn't characterize the Netherwing dragons consistently, and WTBFH was with the ending anyway...about the only upside was random paladin bondage, even though that's really obviously Knaak having a thing about such and being in rampant denial about it a la LKH. I laugh at his repression and stupidness.)
-The Legends Series (which ranges from pretty good to keysmashingly stupidly dumb. It's a story-anthology series, and most of them come in two parts. Tragg Highmountain gets a four-parter in which Knaak bungles lore again, doesn't know how Tauren are, and doesn't realize that Arthas was more than able to resurrect Galakrond and indeed was in the process of doing just that in-game. Stop wanking on the dragons, ugly-stache. Anyway! There's a story about Draka that's really rather cute and awesome--Durotan heartmarks at her badassery in the end! There's a story about twin girls who go and try to bail their dad's ghost out of Karazhan, and that's rather adorable even though the second part's inker didn't know what they were doing as such. My favourite two are "A Cleansing Fire" (the Headless Horseman's origin story, in Volume 5) and "Crusaders' Blood" (a really well done violence-begets-violence story in Volume 3 about Renee Lauer, in which Sylvanas is AMAZING in her brief appearance, Varimathras is hilariously crabby, and Blood Elves and Forsaken are badasses). Some of the stories are dumb--the one about Nesingwary is snortworthy--but, yeah. As any anthology is, this is a mixed bag.)
-The Death Knight, Mage and Shaman class-specific manga (which all suffer from similar DIRE pacing problems, scant or inconsistent characterization, and occasional eyeroll-worthy plot tweests.
-The DK manga has some occasionally doofy art, forgets that Thassarian is QUITE A DORK (see: asking the player to kick cultists in the teeth, saying the player is always on time like gnomish clockwork, etc.), and was very clearly not meant to be a single-volume story. On the upside, I love how Rocio Zucchi draws elves and how she draws Thassarian and she doesn't make some of the DEMENTED layout and scene choices that you see in the Sunwell Trilogy.
-The Shaman one stretches my disbelief a lot--fire elemental cosplaying a Tauren, riiiiight. Also, I knew that apprentice was going to get fridged. Also also, I really think the Grimtotems aren't stupid enough to work for a Ragnaros fanboy. On the upside, Rocio Zucchi draws AWESOME Tauren and this has somewhat better pacing and it's fairly consistent with how shamanism is supposed to work in lore.
-The Mage manga is the most...pointless of the three. The protagonist Aodhan (I do like his name, even though the author's obvious Celt-fetishization annoys my tits off) is almost a non-entity--he's not very well-drawn (sometimes literally, which BUGS me because usually Kawakami's work is MUCH better) and it was difficult for me to connect with him for much of the story. His uncle is very obviously up to no good, Modera is the only woman in the book, Aethas is the only non-human hero in the book and poorly-written to boot...bluhh. Rhonin is okay in this, which is fucking shocking given the quote-unquote author, and some of the dangerous Dalaran library book malarkey is actually cute. Conclusion: don't let Knaak create characters, make him stick to concepts and mechanics. LOLLE.)
COMICS
-The Ashbringer Quadrilogy (which--okay, for fucksakes Lullabi you egregious noob, LEARN HOW TO DRAW A HUMAN SKELETON IF YOU ARE GOING TO TRY TO DRAW KT, OR HE WILL LOOK ABSURD! Also I really don't like how this characterized Alex and its obnoxious tendency to bold and italic incredibly random words for no discernible fucking reason makes me read all the characters as having a similar cadence to Willian Freaking Shatner seriously all the WoW comics have this problem and it bothers the hell out of me, get someone on board who knows typography. Also, learn2onomatopoeia. All in all, pretty mediocre, though better than the comic series about Varian--Ashbringer had some decent action scenes, and the means by which Alex got his brain b0rked was pretty wicked.)
-The Comic Series About Varian and then About Garona's Random Questionably-Canonical Kid (which started out as fairly lolzy, rather enjoyably giggle-worthy cheese that didn't play at being anything BUT cheese, but tried to make the jump to being 'more mature/serious' and failed terribly. Blizzard, if you ever try to address issues of addiction every again without doing homework, I'm ending you all. That is not how things with the Blood Elves work. Die. Also, Lullabi and Co., learn how breasts work before you try to draw them. Also also, stop making Valeera fight in a leotard with a thong bottom. Hell--everyone in this is a fashion victim--Lo'gosh!Varian and his Christoper Belmont getup, Valeera in her battlethong, anything Katrana ever wears, Suave!Varian and Anduin's dorky Masters of the Universe clothing, whatever that disaster is they foisted on poor Aegwynn--the list goes on! Also also also, that Dreadlord has a really stupid name and it's very inconsistent with the others'. All of the rest of them have names like "Mal'ganis" and "Balnazzar" and "Anetheron" and "Lord Banehallow" and such. "Kathra'natir" sounds like the name of a Highborne sorcerer with a taste for haute couture and fancy coffee drinks. Consistency, pl0x. And speaking of consistency--godDAMN is it EVER obvious they lost the plot on what the fuck they were trying to do with Varian. Once he becomes one guy again, he becomes an obnoxious jerkass and a plot button--much like how Garrosh is depicted. I really wish this crap had not been the guidepost of both their characterizations. Also also also also, fuck this fragging Aegwynn for no reason! And I'm not even gonna bother about Me'dan. That is stupeed. And Broll is a pompous ass. Hey buddyboy, let me remind you that it's your people's fault he Burning Legion found Azeroth, and therefore indirectly your fault Valeera is a magic addict. Kiss my fabulous ass. God, I hate self righteous preachers, especially in material that FUCKING FAILS AT DEPICTION OF DEALING WITH ADDICTION. Shut up, you irritating DOUCHE. On the upside, Thrall and Jaina were cute.)
-The Curse of the Worgen (which--oh my god, what is even going on here, this is disorganized as all hell. People still cannot draw boobs, I don't like that the origin of the Scythe of Elune was spelled out as it was (I vastly preferred its questionable nature), and--FFS, the random priestess's name is spelled B E L Y S R A in this. Can people not check these things? ANYWAY--yeah. Alpha Prime is a stupid name, nobody's done any homework at all about how wolves behave which is SAD because the original in-game Ganking-Sons-of-Arugal Worgen DID sort of act like wolf-wolves, we still don't have a concrete reason why it was the wolf shapeshift that went all stupid in such a malignant way (staying overlong in any shapeshift can mess with one's head but--WTF with the biting, did they ever explain this outright or is it just assumed th...you know what never mind)...the colour work is quite pretty and Godfrey's lulzy flying leap is quite epic, but I resent the chickification of Lorna and the comic's effort to follow the starting zone falls flat. All in all, not well done.)
-The teaser-trailer issue that would have heralded the Alliance and Horde centric comics (which reminded me, in art-style and writing, a LOT of old-fashioned Prince Valiant type newspaper soap operatic serials. I would have been interested to read these--ESPECIALLY since one issue was supposed to deal with the Riders of Duskwood OH MY GOD ugly sobbing here for what might have been. I have no doubt these would have been pure fromage but the art was quite nice and I appreciated the b'elfadin guy.)
I'll be gettin' into the actual novels in my next post.