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yukieIt's kind of amazing how much EATING SOMETHING an take me from a hopeless, pissy, inert, horizontal pessimist to a person able to function.
I'm still antsy and nervous about this trip thing as I am about any such excursion. I'm nervous about seeing teh P again even though I know that chapter in my life is long since over and he's my friend now - no more and certainly no less.
The future in general still scares the shit out of me.
But I don't feel like I need to hide under the bed now.
In other news, I finished The Historian for the - it's been too many times to count and I still frickin' adore it even if it makes ye inner Dracula louder than loud. I really like the dang book. Yeah, it takes a while to build, but I love that kind of thing XD; I fully blame J-horrors for instilling in me that love of suspense that builds slowly slowly slowly so by the time you realize your nerves are jangling it's too fucking late and you HAVE TO press on or the not knowing is going to KILL YOU even though the knowing probably will, too.
It mirrors researching for something that way, really. Or at least the way researching something goes for me. At first you're just like, *PLOD.* Like the initial thrill of OKAY RIGHT NINTENDO WE'RE GONNA DO THIS wears off and you're kind of neither happy nor annoyed about the slogging - and then you hit on SOMETHING and you're lunging at bookshelves etc.
I love reading the book over again because the first time through you really don't SEE how much the D-man has had a hand in things...and then in the end you get the reveals and you go OH WHAT WAIT WHAT and have to read it again with this newfound awareness and context. And then you go AAAAAAAAA because you realize just how much of a goddamn wirepulling creepy lurker he is XD
it's awesome dammit.
So, yeah. XD; I will put aside panicking about stuff I cannot do anything about and read it some more.
And I should read I Feel Sick again because Devi beating the nuts out of her inner demons is something I need to see to remind me it's possible.
I'm still antsy and nervous about this trip thing as I am about any such excursion. I'm nervous about seeing teh P again even though I know that chapter in my life is long since over and he's my friend now - no more and certainly no less.
The future in general still scares the shit out of me.
But I don't feel like I need to hide under the bed now.
In other news, I finished The Historian for the - it's been too many times to count and I still frickin' adore it even if it makes ye inner Dracula louder than loud. I really like the dang book. Yeah, it takes a while to build, but I love that kind of thing XD; I fully blame J-horrors for instilling in me that love of suspense that builds slowly slowly slowly so by the time you realize your nerves are jangling it's too fucking late and you HAVE TO press on or the not knowing is going to KILL YOU even though the knowing probably will, too.
It mirrors researching for something that way, really. Or at least the way researching something goes for me. At first you're just like, *PLOD.* Like the initial thrill of OKAY RIGHT NINTENDO WE'RE GONNA DO THIS wears off and you're kind of neither happy nor annoyed about the slogging - and then you hit on SOMETHING and you're lunging at bookshelves etc.
I love reading the book over again because the first time through you really don't SEE how much the D-man has had a hand in things...and then in the end you get the reveals and you go OH WHAT WAIT WHAT and have to read it again with this newfound awareness and context. And then you go AAAAAAAAA because you realize just how much of a goddamn wirepulling creepy lurker he is XD
it's awesome dammit.
So, yeah. XD; I will put aside panicking about stuff I cannot do anything about and read it some more.
And I should read I Feel Sick again because Devi beating the nuts out of her inner demons is something I need to see to remind me it's possible.