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yukieMaybe if I started physically injuring every single navel-gazing shit-wit who thinks it's fine 'n dandy to take their lousy day out on me, they'd stop.
News flash, it's not okay to do this, assholes. Just because you decided somewhere in the recesses of your midget fuckchop diva mind that I 'have it easy' (haaa ha ha ha) or 'need to toughen it up' or whatever bullshit typical abuser rationalization *eyelash flutter* you're repeating over and over in the hopes that it'll make it true...
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
DOES NOT MAKE IT FUCKING OKAY.
You know what? I have miserable days. We all do. there are days when I hate what my body is doing, when I'm afraid of what it's doing. There are days when my brain does its best to rip me to shreds. I am fortunate enough to have access to care and meds, and for that I am grateful, but this access does not mean everything is oh-so-easy now, or that my brain is any less a vicious asshole on bad days. Nothing ever magically makes everything better. And the fact that I'm talking about this at all--talking about my disabilities and my mental state--is going to open me up to mouth-farting shit-hawk chunder-fucks whining that I just want special treatment bawhawhawwwww oh how typical for someone of my social standing bawhawwwww.
No, fuckass. Can you listen to what I'm saying instead of the squeedly-deedly-deeeee of the sad sad music on your mental soundtrack? Idiot. I want to be treated with courtesy and respect, and not have a bunch of shitsnake diva douchefucks think that their pain gives them the right to cause others pain, and have said shitsnake diva douchefucks in my fucking face and up my fucking nose for no fuckdamn reason.
Your bad days at work, at home, on the bus, etc. have nothing to do with me. If I fuck something up, I'll apologize, but the next person top take problems out on me that I had nothing to do with is going to get annihilated.
Maybe the smouldering wreckage of their confidence will serve as a warning to the rest of the assholes. Maybe if I start leaving a trail of diva-shaped scorch marks in my wake, the rest of these assholes will leave me the fuck alone.
Or maybe I'll just cut them out of my life.
ETA for clarity, reassurance of a couple worried people who asked, and unpleasant epiphany yay: The people I'm irritated with are not here (i.e. LJ/DW); one of them had an LJ once but doesn't anymore because it's juvenile or something. They lurk my shit anyway, though (god knows why, if all I do is piss them off/allegedly embarrass myself), and pretty much will never confront me in comments or anywhere anyone else can see them doing it, knowing damn well that 'OMFG RANDOM IM ASSHOLE BAW' is the flipside of 'THE LURKERS SUPPORT ME IN E-MAIL LOL' and that I am terrified of looking like a wanky munchausen-by-internet ninny, so I am not likely to say anything or ask for support.
What.
The fuck.
Is wrong.
With me.
Why does it always take me so damn long to realize assholes are assholes, and I don't deserve this crap. Why do I tolerate this for so damn long. Why. What the fuck. Now I just feel entirely stupid.
News flash, it's not okay to do this, assholes. Just because you decided somewhere in the recesses of your midget fuckchop diva mind that I 'have it easy' (haaa ha ha ha) or 'need to toughen it up' or whatever bullshit typical abuser rationalization *eyelash flutter* you're repeating over and over in the hopes that it'll make it true...
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
DOES NOT MAKE IT FUCKING OKAY.
You know what? I have miserable days. We all do. there are days when I hate what my body is doing, when I'm afraid of what it's doing. There are days when my brain does its best to rip me to shreds. I am fortunate enough to have access to care and meds, and for that I am grateful, but this access does not mean everything is oh-so-easy now, or that my brain is any less a vicious asshole on bad days. Nothing ever magically makes everything better. And the fact that I'm talking about this at all--talking about my disabilities and my mental state--is going to open me up to mouth-farting shit-hawk chunder-fucks whining that I just want special treatment bawhawhawwwww oh how typical for someone of my social standing bawhawwwww.
No, fuckass. Can you listen to what I'm saying instead of the squeedly-deedly-deeeee of the sad sad music on your mental soundtrack? Idiot. I want to be treated with courtesy and respect, and not have a bunch of shitsnake diva douchefucks think that their pain gives them the right to cause others pain, and have said shitsnake diva douchefucks in my fucking face and up my fucking nose for no fuckdamn reason.
Your bad days at work, at home, on the bus, etc. have nothing to do with me. If I fuck something up, I'll apologize, but the next person top take problems out on me that I had nothing to do with is going to get annihilated.
Maybe the smouldering wreckage of their confidence will serve as a warning to the rest of the assholes. Maybe if I start leaving a trail of diva-shaped scorch marks in my wake, the rest of these assholes will leave me the fuck alone.
Or maybe I'll just cut them out of my life.
ETA for clarity, reassurance of a couple worried people who asked, and unpleasant epiphany yay: The people I'm irritated with are not here (i.e. LJ/DW); one of them had an LJ once but doesn't anymore because it's juvenile or something. They lurk my shit anyway, though (god knows why, if all I do is piss them off/allegedly embarrass myself), and pretty much will never confront me in comments or anywhere anyone else can see them doing it, knowing damn well that 'OMFG RANDOM IM ASSHOLE BAW' is the flipside of 'THE LURKERS SUPPORT ME IN E-MAIL LOL' and that I am terrified of looking like a wanky munchausen-by-internet ninny, so I am not likely to say anything or ask for support.
What.
The fuck.
Is wrong.
With me.
Why does it always take me so damn long to realize assholes are assholes, and I don't deserve this crap. Why do I tolerate this for so damn long. Why. What the fuck. Now I just feel entirely stupid.
no subject
Date: 2012-01-19 03:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-01-20 12:11 am (UTC)