Scaramouche, Scaramouche

Cause of my headache: migraine + tension headache.

I clenched my teeth in my sleep and tensed up so much that the entire left side of my face was painful.

I was worrying so much about the pain that I made it WORSE.

(Parents were unhelpful. Telling me to stop worrying is great IN THEORY... At least they got that I was honestly struggling with this.)

So Counselor did meditation work with me and it was really amazing. I can make my mind go quiet. I learned to just let thoughts pass by. Note them and let them move on. After that thre wasn't any thought except about my breathing and the quiet space in me.

I remembered my friend JB telling me that she thought my energy felt like water and that she felt 'a sort of abyss type thing but not in a bad way'. (I love JB XD) I thought about water and about just kind of drifting down like some amazing merYukie to the bottom were the bioluminescent things do their best star impressions.

I didn't know how long I was meditative until he told me. 20 freakin' minutes.

And now I am almost pain-free for the first time in DAYS and it's such a fucking relief. I can identify my pain without freaking the fuck out.

There's residual ache but I can identify and handle it.

I just needed to remember that i -do- know my body and REMEMBER when I do things like ask a particular bard with a knack for warding/blocking mojo to help me deal with a stuck-open Ajna that was stuck to the point that my empathy is distracting - motherfucker was closed for DAYS and I only realized last night that it was...he forgot too, so it's dual derpage and anyway it's back open now... and that I'm better at relaxing than I think I am.

Also apparently I'm a projective empath. XD; I know that Counselor is observant but he says that as soon as I walked in he knew I was stressed out of my gourd. So - yeah. XD; I am a LEETLE BEACON.

Anyhow.

Man. It is SUCH a bloody relief. I feel so much better it's not funny.